


Moving On

by ana



Series: The Ivan Tales : Marriage, Divorce, Love and Chocolate Cake [3]
Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Alliances, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cake, Dreams and Nightmares, Education, F/M, Family History, Family Issues, Female Friendship, Friendship, Gossip, Hot Chocolate, Mother-Son Relationship, Piano, Post-Divorce, Research, Secret Identity, Sexual Content, Spies & Secret Agents, University, Vor Society, Wine, slander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:29:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5266151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana/pseuds/ana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Story So Far: </p><p>Ivan has been divorced for approximately ten months. He’s getting on with his life but getting tired of all the happy couples around him trying to set him up. But for the most part he’s feeling steady and mostly content.</p><p>Eve, ImpSec agent and Barrayaran studies student, has returned to Barrayar after a long absence. Eve was assigned by Illyan to run surveillance inside Ivan’s apartment when his family were concerned about Ivan’s behaviour post Martya break-up.</p><p>Eve’s surveillance was successful in stopping Ivan setting fire to himself, without him knowing. BUT there was the minuscule of chances that Ivan may recognise Eve’s voice as she spoke to him when he was falling unconscious under one of her tranq darts.</p><p>So Eve, taking her job very seriously and not wanting to jeopardise her covert status any further, left Barrayar hoping Ivan would attribute any voice he recalled to all the alcohol and pills he’d consumed that day.This therefore keeps her covert status safe and stops Ivan from finding out that his family had someone spy on him in the privacy of his apartment.</p><p>But now Eve is back and her presence ends up triggering all sorts of unexpected events - good, bad and WTF :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Girl Under The Table

Ivan couldn’t believe the day he was having. It wasn’t that he was naïve. He knew escorting Isabella Aregui about town was going to be a big deal. She wasn’t just one of the Escobaran Ambassador’s many daughters but Isabella’s father – Carl Aregui – was also accompanying her. Carl would be in town to discuss investing in medical facilities and supplying medtech only in Vorbarr Sultana – initially. The fact that Carl was one of the Ambassador’s partners was not seen as a conflict of interest on Escobar; probably because the Aregui family seemed to own half of Escobar anyway. Not that Ivan wanted to think about it but yes Isabella – big deal.

Ivan had seen his escort itinerary a week ago and then was given a proposed amendment which doubled it and took him off essential duties for Desplains’ meetings with the higher-ups. Ivan had blacked out his calendar for that very reason. This explained why the Admiral had been so pissy with him that morning but Ivan had had nothing to do with the changes. One comconsole call later and Ivan was asked not to trek to the Minister’s offices as he’d expected, but to go to ImpRes instead where he had a meeting with Assistant Ferris with Gregor sitting in.

Ferris was part of the Galactic Affairs office and in charge of liaising between the various departments to clear high profile itineraries. He was a middle-aged man of middle height who had the blackest, thickest moustache Ivan had ever seen. He also had this peculiar habit of randomly running his fat index finger across his chin when he was talking.

“The facts as we have them, m’lord, are that Mademoiselle Isabella Aregui asked for you herself as escort. You impressed her greatly when she met you and Admiral Desplains at the embassy on Escobar. The Ambassador herself endorsed this after receiving a report from her daughter, and meeting you again in person when you returned to Barrayar.”

There was a silence and Ivan looked at them both. Ivan wasn’t going to go over _that_ again. He’d had to report that the Escobaran Ambassador had made a pass at him which he’d declined. The ambassador hadn’t been offended; she’d said she’d simply done it out of curiosity because of Isabella's ‘report’. Apparently mother and daughter told each other _everything_. Yes, he’d had one night of sex with Isabella when he was on Escobar; the sex was instigated by Isabella which she’d concluded with: “That was quite wonderful, Ivan but we both know we don’t want to take this further. That makes it easier when I come to Barrayar.” For all her making it sound like a business transaction Ivan still thought she was an alright sort but not his type.

“I know all this,” Ivan said. “What hasn’t been made clear to me is why my attending essential duties at HQ has been reprioritised to,” Ivan picked up the flimsy and read off it, “ ‘escorting Isabella for afternoon tea at the Imperial Hotel.’ The meetings that week –“

“Ah yes,” said Ferris and there went his sweeping finger. “Admiral Desplains has informed us of how he requires you to be attendance and we’ve agreed he’s been very flexible where your duties are concerned. I believe there may have been a misunderstanding about your…relationship with Mademoiselle Aregui?”

“Well that misunderstanding didn’t come from me and I doubt it came from Isabella.”

“You’re correct and no one is accusing of anything, m’lord.”

“You better damned well not be.”

He heard Gregor make a small noise, and Ivan ran a hand through his hair. “I beg your pardon. I would like to know who gave you this misunderstanding and the full nature of it.”

And yes, he should have known. It was his mother and Carl Aregui.

“Lady Alys is misinformed,” Ivan said bluntly, deliberately using her title. “She may have got the idea from Isabella’s father. He’s after a title for his daughter; he aint subtle about it. Isabella doesn’t take it seriously. So no, there is no future planetary alliance in the offing and no need to nudge me that way like I’m some damned naïve debutante that needs a helping hand.”

The original itinerary was reinstated, and Gregor didn’t explain why he’d sat in the meeting but afterwards he’d asked Ivan how he was in _that_ tone. That concerned tone was usually a precursor to talking about Ivan’s divorce which Ivan wanted to steer clear from.

“Everything’s fine, sire,” Ivan said, kicking himself for how he’d snapped at Ferris in the meeting. “How is Laisa?”

“She’s fine. She had an idea you could escort one of her friend’s around town too; but I don’t think you’ll have the time. Between Desplains and Isabella you deserve some personal life. Don’t look so surprised.”

“I’m not just well, duty comes first, sire,” Ivan said dutifully.

“There’s the duty to yourself too, Ivan,” Gregor had said seriously, and then thank God they were interrupted and Gregor had to leave.

Ivan hadn’t had one conversation with Gregor about Martya, about her betrayal, about the bonfire of Martya clothes Ivan had lit outside Martya’s house, about the divorce – about any of it and that was fine with Ivan. What could Gregor say anyway when Martya’s fine mother was one of Gregor’s most favourite people in the galaxy?

 

**Vorkosigan House**

Ivan entered Vorkosigan House that evening to the sounds of a piano playing. _Damn._ The music portion of the evening was _still_ going on. Perhaps he shouldn’t have come. The Vorbrettens had arranged it at Ekaterin’s request all because Miles had purchased a piano for the new music room. It wasn’t that Miles had suddenly developed an interest in music; Ekaterin had mentioned how she would have liked to have grown up with a piano in the house and Miles had decided that their children should, and also that their kids were all going to have music lessons. Nikki wasn’t interested so this was for the future Vorkosigans…currently all unborn.

Ivan caught the whiff of coffee and fresh pastries. Ah now he remembered why he’d come – Ma Kosti’s cooking.

He noted the Armsman by the library door and angled his head. “Conference?” Ivan asked.

“Madam Vorkouskoff, m’lord,” he said in a whisper. “She’s a famous singer. Not to be disturbed while she…prepares”

Miles walked towards him, decked out in his house colours, and mouthed _temperamental._ Out loud he said, “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“Wasn’t,” Ivan said walking towards the dining room.

“No one’s in there. Everyone’s in the new music room,” Miles said proudly.

“Yeah? I won’t go there then.”

“Still avoiding people?”

Ivan scowled. He was getting sick of people saying that. Just because he’d become more discriminating in where he went and just because he wasn’t partying like he did after his divorce. It was like everything he did – even if was his ‘normal’ behaviour – people were determined to tag as some kind of post-divorce change in him. As if everyone was an expert on him all of a sudden.

“Any food left?”

Because he was ahead of Miles when he reached the dining room, he was the only one who saw the woman dive under the buffet table. Huh. Now that was something he’d not seen in a while. Since no Armsman immediately rooted her out from behind the floor length table cloth, Ivan figured she was a guest. Funny way for a guest to behave but it wasn’t the strangest thing he’d seen a guest do; this was a Vorkosigan House dinner party after all.

Before he could say anything to Miles, Tatya came elegantly rushing into the room from the other entrance; her bottle green skirt moving in circles around her ankles.

“Hi, Tatya,” Ivan said. “Nice skirt. Very…swishy.”

“Thank you.” She absently acknowledged Ivan’s cheek kiss as she looked about the room. “Ekaterin said you weren’t coming.”

“Wasn’t.”

“I can’t seem to find Eve have you seen her?”

Ivan frowned. “Don’t know an Eve, Tatya. But I used to know an Eva once…” Long legs, massive breasts, annoying laugh.

“She was talking to me,” Miles said interrupting Ivan’s reminisces. “Eve’s Laisa’s singer friend; Laisa wants us all to get to know her.”

Ivan wondered if this was the friend Gregor had mentioned who might need the escort.

“What she look like?” Ivan asked going to the buffet table and lifting off the lids. Damned locusts. Not even a crumb. He’d have to go the kitchen, sweet talk Ma Kosti into making him something. “Thought I saw someone when I came in.”

“Oh she’s got beautiful long hair, down to her waist,” Tatya said sounding as pleased as if it was her own hair. “You would remember if you saw her, and she’s petite.”

He liked the sound of the hair but asked, “Petite?”

“Even shorter than Laisa,” Miles elaborated, frowning at his cousin. “And when would you have seen her? You’ve just arrived.”

“Thought she might be the woman under the table,” Ivan said. “Isn’t there _any_ food left?”

It was at that point the woman emerged, in a flurry of knee length blue layered skirts, with matching long boots – her whole outfit screamed galactic. She stood with her back to Ivan so he could see Tatya wasn’t kidding about her hair length but he wouldn’t have called it beautiful - it was too untidy. But that was Tatya, always complimentary. Ivan did like the way her hair bounced against her backside when she moved though. His stomach growled and he turned back to the buffet table at the one dish he hadn’t uncovered.

“ _Even shorter than Laisa?”_ Eve asked, repeating Miles’s words, and Ivan’s head whipped around. He knew that voice. “What’s that supposed to mean!” Eve had continued. “I’m five foot two _and a half_ inches. Laisa’s only half an inch taller than me. Okay maybe a bit more. Maybe. She just looks taller because of her chest and that magnificent brain - that kind of intelligence adds inches. It doesn’t make any sense to me but there you have it.” Before Miles could respond she turned to Tatya. “Do I really look a lot shorter than, L?”

Tatya shook her head rapidly, and squeezed Eve’s arm. “Oh no, Eve, and I’m sure that’s not _at all_ what Lord Vorkosigan meant.”

“Of course it wasn’t,” Miles said. “I’m sorry if I caused any offence.”

“I’m not offended,” Eve said. “Gives me a chance to educate you on why people make height discrepancies. Most men are distracted by L’s assets. Many women too come to think of it.”

“I don’t think you’ve been introduced to Lord Vorpatril,” Miles said hurriedly, stepping aside and motioning at Ivan. “Ivan?” Miles urged. Eve turned around, her face part obscured by her hair and Ivan continued to stare.

“What?” Ivan asked as Miles was forced to repeat Ivan’s name. “Oh. Beg pardon,” Ivan said to her as he closed the distance, holding out his hand as Miles made introductions.

Ivan had to get a closer look at her face so instead of shaking her hand Ivan took it but smoothly turned it, pressing his lips lightly to her skin – and he caught the scent of cinnamon and something sweet like honey, it put a snap in his blood and jolted him as their eyes met. Her eyes widened and Ivan wondered if she’d felt that snap too. He didn’t remember her face; it was plain, nothing special except hazel eyes which were changing colour in the light. But there was _something_ familiar about her and it wasn’t her scent. Ivan remembered scents as well as he remembered faces and this combination of sweet and spice was unique.

“Hi,” Ivan said, “we’ve met before?” he asked hoping she would give him the answer.

“I’ve only been back on this world a couple of weeks,” she said, her accent was slightly husky with odd non-descript galactic and Barrayaran lilts to it, “maybe Laisa’s wedding?”

Mermaids. Why was he thinking mermaids.

“Yeah, must be it.” No. That wasn’t it. Damn it! Where was it?

“This is where everyone is,” Ekaterin said walking in. “Oh, Ivan, hello. I thought you weren’t coming.”

“Wasn’t,” Ivan murmured releasing Eve’s hand as she tugged it away.

“Tatya,” Ekaterin said, “Rene’s asking after you and Eve.”

“Thanks I was here looking for her. Eve –are you ah still alright to sing another set?” Tatya asked her, glancing at the table where Eve had briefly hid.

“I’m sorry, I can’t and I need to leave right now,” Eve said. “The quick and dirty version is the guest you have in the library – I met her at the Embassy on Earth and she _hates_ me. She’s who I was hiding from. If she sees me, she’s going to set up a screech like you’ve never heard and ruin your party. I won’t have that.”

While Eve explained further and Tatya and Ekaterin tried to persuade Eve to stay, Miles took Ivan aside.

“What’s got into you? Stop gawking at her.”

“I’m not gawking,” Ivan said, indignant and lowering his voice. “It’s the _damndest_ thing. I don’t remember her but I know I know her.”

Miles raised an eyebrow. “How? One of your many conquests?”

Ivan gave him a look. “I don’t forget ‘em, Miles.”

And there weren’t as many conquests as people thought, especially lately, but Ivan wasn’t going to correct anyone. He was more discriminating than people gave him credit for but yeah, from Laisa’s wedding onwards for a few months he’d gotten laid _a lot_ and never had a regular girl. So what? He’d been enjoying himself. He was free after all. Free. Single. Alone.

“But you also said you never forget a face. Do you recognise her?” Miles asked.

Ivan ran a hand through his hair. “No. No I don’t.”

“Then it was probably at the wedding like she said.”

“Yeah…Um…m’mother isn’t here, is she?”

Before Miles could respond they were all interrupted by a very loud - “YOU!”

The accusatory exclamation – that wouldn’t have been out of place on a soap – had come from a gaudily attired woman. Her face was turning various shades of puce that matched her glittering gown as she pointed at Eve.

“Madam Vorkouskoff,” Eve said calmly under the glare of the towering lady. “Hey. I’m just leaving so there’s no need for you to –“

“How _dare_ you speak to me! How _dare_ you. I will not remain here if _that mongrel girl_ is here polluting my air.” She punctuated her words with a stabbing finger in Eve’s direction. “ _That girl_ insulted me! This Caravanserai born _trash_ dared –“

“I was born in the Caravanserai too,” Ivan said loudly, silencing the Madam’s flow into a sudden choke.

Everyone turned to face him and Ivan nodded to the Madam. “S’true. M’mother doesn’t like to talk about it. Pretendership y’know and,” he dropped his voice a little, “large baby, not my fault but wouldn’t remind m’mother… if you see her which I s’pose isn’t likely.” And he’d make damn sure it wasn’t.

Ivan flicked a quick glance at Eve who turned away and hid her face in her hair; Miles and Ekaterin exchanged looks, as Ekaterin rested a hand briefly on Miles’s arm before she stepped forward and coolly said, “I can see it offends your sensibilities to remain here, Madam. We of course wouldn’t expect you to stay under these circumstances. Pym will escort you out. Your companion is welcome to stay if…”

Pym with his usual aplomb was already there escorting the puce woman out. Madam’s companion, a weary looking apologetic woman, having no choice in the matter by the looks of her employer also left. Tatya rushed to Eve’s side, and Ivan hoped she wasn’t too upset but was relieved and surprised to see that Eve, when she emerged from her curtain of hair was struggling with laughter not tears

“I’m sorry,” she said, holding her stomach. “I shouldn’t laugh. You didn’t deserve that but God, never seen anyone deal with her with so much…grace. Thank you.” And she looked at Ekaterin and then at him; he shrugged as if it was nothing not wanting to show how pleased he was with her gratitude.

“I don’t know why you’re apologising,” Tatya said, furious, “Rene vetted her too,” she said defensively to Miles and Ekaterin, and turned to Eve, “truly, Eve, we didn’t know that she was so – oh!” Eve had kissed Tatya on the cheek. “Don’t be soft, Tatya. You’re a sweetheart. Thank you.”

She left quite soon after, after singing a set of ye olde folk songs that everyone seemed to like but Ivan thought were depressing.   Ivan never got a chance to chat to her again, he wasn’t sure why he wanted to. There was something about her though. She was so much on his mind that he dreamed about her; vivid dreams where she was a mermaid. What was odd was that the first and last time he’d had those dreams was around the time he and Martya had split. It was a sign Ivan decided. He needed a distraction. He badly needed to get laid.

 


	2. The Vor is Off Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a week later.  
> Eve is back at Vorkosigan House to see Ma Kosti.  
> Miles is trying not to worry about Ivan and wonders if he has any food left in the House...

**Vorkosigan House – Kitchen.**

“Please sit where you like,” Ma Kosti said to Eve, escorting her into the kitchen. “Everyone’s had their breakfast so there’ll be a lull although Armsman Roic is late coming off-shift so he’s likely to come in for his break.”

“It’s fine. I can work around you,” Eve said. “Think of this more like a conversation than an interview. If I end up in the way, we can reschedule. You’re the one helping me out remember that,” Eve added trying to give her best ‘I’m harmless’ smile, but she could still see Ma Kosti was nervous - she was running her hands over her apron again and through her hair

“Before you – we – start, “Ma Kosti said, “would you like something to eat? Or Drink?”

Eve sighed. Perhaps the only way to help ease Ma Kosti’s nerves was to let her do what she was used to doing – feeding people.

“I’d love a hot chocolate and any ah chocolate cake if you have any?” Eve asked.

Ma Kosti smiled. “That kind of cake is a favourite here. I always have some on standby. You make yourself comfortable I won’t be a moment.”

“Thanks and well…if you don’t mind two slices would really hit the spot.”

While Ma Kosti was busy, Eve absorbed every detail of the kitchen. It was old Vor House style with much wood but also many gleaming, modern touches. The best feature was a huge worn inviting trestle table planted in the centre. It looked like it had grown out of the equally worn floor.   Eve dumped her bag on a chair and took a seat where she could see both exits. One of the exits was just out of view but Eve knew was there – a service entrance; the door hidden in a recessed nook. Palm and passcode lock only. Too easy to bypass as far as Eve was concerned.

“This kitchen is gorgeous,” Eve said to Ma Kosti on her return with the two generous slices of cake.

“Yes, it’s such a homey room. I’m just letting the hot chocolate brew, dear. Are you sure this isn’t too early for you?”

Eve laughed. “I’m usually up at four so eight isn’t early for me at all. In fact I’ve just come from the university library.” Eve eased off a piece of the cake with her spoon and took a heavenly bite. “Gorgeous, thank you. I had a fight with this fascist librarian which really woke me up. They’ve been trying to charge me a late fine for an item _I_ renewed.” Eve heard an outer door close and gauged that someone was coming towards the kitchen. Must be the Armsman. “Six months’ notice I gave them,” Eve continued, “Six whole months when I sent it off from Earth and they said they never received it but _I_ have a receipt.”

“Are you saying a wormhole ate your renewal?” Lord Vorpatril asked, entering the kitchen with that long legged stride in his undress greens and matching long coat. Eve just about stopped herself from dropping her spoon.

“Hi again,” he continued, not hiding his surprise at finding her there. “Sorry to interrupt. I’ll be out in a snap. Could I trouble you for a fresh coffee, Ma Kosti?”

“I can bring it you, m’lord,” Ma Kosti replied and he shook his head.

“No, no I’ll just grab it here. Don’t want to get nabbed by Miles.”

Ma Kosti went to retrieve him a cup and Lord Vorpatril moved closer, bringing a subtle scent of his cologne and whatever shower cleanser he used Eve guessed – a nice combination of musky and clean. _He’s_ _off limits, stop leching,_ Eve repeatedly chanted in her head. This was not a good time for her to recall that, unbeknownst to him, she knew exactly what he looked like under that uniform. Eve caught his intense stare, as if she was a troubling puzzle; it sank her heart but put the brakes on her mental undressing of him. He swiftly transferred his eyes to her plate, that look gone but raised an eyebrow.

“Interesting breakfast.”

“Best kind of breakfast,” she said, attempting a smile. “But I’ve already had breakfast. This is a snack. And no I’m not saying a wormhole ate my renewal. The library’s tech is horrendous. I bet my renewal is sitting on their systems somewhere.”

“Bet no one’ll believe you. M’mother still doesn’t believe that all those messages I sent her when I was on Earth got eaten by a wormhole.”

“Yes, I’m sure you were a very dutiful son and sent her many updates.”

“Course I did,” he said with a grin which transferred to a yawn. “Beg your pardon. Ah thank you a thousand times,” he said as Ma Kosti handed him a huge mug of coffee and placed a plate of various savoury pastries on the table. Lord Vorpatril was now looking down at Eve’s tech and she could tell he recognised it for what it was.

“I’m about to record an interview with Ma Kosti,” Eve explained and after a beat added, “To ask her important things like if she knows what colour underwear the Vorkosigans’ wear.”

She laughed as Lord Vorpatril choked a laugh into his coffee but felt bad when she saw the look on Ma Kosti’s face. _Damn my sense of humour._

“Just teasing. It’s about Ma Kosti’s amazing family,” Eve said. “Did you know Ma Kosti’s great grandmother was a famous cook, and provided meals for the poor? She opened one of the first charity houses. Ma Kosti’s kindly agreed to let me ask her about it for my Women’s Studies project. We got talking about it when I was here last week.”

“It was only a very small charity house,” Ma Kosti said, and actually blushed when Lord Vorpatril politely asked her when that was, and said how put out he was that she’d never told him about her famous family as he thought he was one of her favourites. Ma Kosti’s nerves seemed to ease in Lord Vorpatril affable presence. He made her laugh a lot which was part of it, Eve supposed. Made them both laugh. But he didn’t stay for long. He drowned his coffee and placed the entire plate of pastries in a bag provided by Ma Kosti and then looking ill when he witnessed Eve add several shakes of cinnamon to her hot chocolate, he was off.

“Does that happen a lot?” Eve asked.

“What, dear?” Ma Kosti asked.

“Lord Vorpatril dropping in?”

“But of course. You don’t mind him being here do you?”

_Yes. No. Yes. No._

“No of course not,” Eve said recalling that frown on Lord Vorpatril’s face. “I’ve not forgotten how he helped diffuse the situation last week with Madam Vorkouskoff.”

Ma Kosti looked relieved, but she glanced at Eve’s notes with a frown. Eve assured Ma Kosti that anything she wrote up she would run by her first.

“It’s not that, dear. I just don’t see how it would be of interest to anyone.”

Eve grinned. “I was going to wait to give you this but I’ll show you now. Rather than harp on about how much of the contribution of women on this planet has been neglected and is only now being brought to the surface I will give you something tangible.” Eve went into her bag, pulled out a folder and slid out two flimsies.

“Copies from a news bulletin at the time. These are two different editions. Look at the name, that’s your great grandmother and there’s a picture.”

Within minutes Ma Kosti wanted to know more about the other women Eve was writing about and Eve realised this was how she should have approached it in the first place. Ma Kosti was fascinated and also a touch embarrassed that she’d never heard of these women. So Eve made a point of talking about the Tsakiris clinic too, which of course Ma Kosti had heard of but she didn’t know the full difficulties of what the women had had to endure to bring health services to the poor. Eve informed her it was only now coming to light due to some diaries that had been discovered. Eve’s fascination stemmed from the fact she’d made use of that clinic when she’d been a child but she never mentioned that to Ma Kosti. There were some things best left unsaid.

They were interrupted a few times before lunch. Lady Vorkosigan for a short while and Armsman Roic came in for his break, scolded by Ma Kosti for not eating properly, and finally Lord Vorkosigan asking Eve to drop by the library before she left.

*******

**Vorkosigan House Library**

“How are your epic honeymoon plans going?” Eve asked as Miles closed the door.

“How do you know about them?” Miles asked.

“Your Lady wife mentioned it.” She frowned. “I’ve not been spying on you.”

“That hadn’t crossed my mind, Eve.”

“Oh. Well. Not that I couldn’t,” Eve said with that wry smile. “Which reminds me. I’m going to send you a report on how I think you could upgrade your security here.”

“I never asked you to do that.”

She grinned. “I know. Wait till you get my report before you tell me you recently upgraded and don’t need another one.”

Miles let out small laugh. “Fine.” And motioned to a chair but Eve shook her head and picked a different seat facing the door so Miles picked one adjacent to it. She’d picked a seat where she had a view of her exits. A habit Miles himself had never gotten out of.

“Can’t switch that training off, eh?” he asked, motioning to the door.

“Even on leave I’m still getting pulled it for the odd job, but no I can never switch it off, hence your security report.” She pulled her lengthy out from under her. “But I’ve been like this since BC would you believe.”

BC was how Eve referred to that part of her past on Beta Colony. When she was 12 she had therapy there to build her confidence, but the therapist had had a breakdown and dosed her and nine other girls with a lot of drugs she shouldn’t have. Eve was one of only three survivors. She’d received an undisclosed hefty compensation and was referred to as one of the ‘Betan 10’. She’d probably be called that for the rest of the life, Miles mused, no matter what she did.

“Ma Kosti’s flattered you want to interview her.”

“I’m equally flattered she agreed although I did joke to your cousin I was interviewing her about the colour of your underwear.”

“Which underwear in particular?”

They exchanged grins. He’d gotten to know Eve a little – and her sense of humour – since she’d spied on Ivan. They’d exchanged a few messages when she’d gone to Earth and had a few discussions on her recent return to Barrayar. Miles knew her enough to know that he’d hire her in a heartbeat if he needed someone like her – it wasn’t just her skills or mission successes; it was her discretion and integrity that clinched it. He could see what Illyan had seen in her and why Allegre didn’t want to lose her.

“So what’s this about,” Eve asked, “Are you going to make ironic cracks about my height again?” Eve asked.

“I’m thinking about it,” he said and smiled in return when she laughed. “I did mean to ask you though – you diving under the table –“

“It was for the reason I said. I wasn’t hiding from Lord Vorpatril. I wanted to get that meeting over as soon as possible.” Eve sighed. “But I didn’t realise he was such a regular visitor here.”

“Yeah he is.” Miles frowned. “Did he take any food?”

Eve looked amused. “Just a few pastries.”

A few? Miles bet it was more than a few. He knew Ma Kosti would replenish them but that wasn’t the point. Ma Kosti spoiled Ivan. Miles didn’t know how Ivan did it but he managed to sweet talk anyone to giving him food. Drou was always making Ivan extra cakes when they were kids. Miles bet she still was.

“Everything alright?” Eve asked.

“Yes, yes. So was everything alright? My cousin didn’t disturb your interview?”

Eve shook her head. “On the contrary. He was a sweetie; got Ma Kosti to relax but…the way he looked at me.”

“Ah look, he likes to flirt, can’t help himself but –“

“Not that. Goodness. I can deal with flirting and he wasn’t flirting.” She looked unsure for a moment and shook her head. Miles frowned. “He was looking at me like I was a…riddle and I can tell when someone isn’t getting any sleep.”

“Don’t read too much it. It could be a coincidence.”

“He didn’t look this exhausted when I saw him last week.”

“No, but your arrival has coincided with Isabella Aregui’s, who my cousin is escorting. He’s probably had a lot of late nights.”

“So he hasn’t said anything else to you? Other than he thinks he’s met me before?”

“No.”

Eve sighed. “Alright. At least we have a contingency for this. If he remembers anything more we tell him the truth, right?”

Miles hesitated and she frowned.

“What?” Eve asked. “Don’t tell me you’ve all changed your mind?”

‘All’ being Aunt Alys, Illyan and Allegre.

Miles tapped his fingers on his lower lip. Gregor had told Miles about the meeting where Ivan had snapped at Ferris; Gregor said he’d never seen Ivan be so…vocal and Ivan had been visibly angry. Gregor wasn’t upset with Ivan but he wanted reassurance from Miles that Ivan was fine. Miles couldn’t give that assurance since he himself wasn’t sure.   (Miles had also wondered out loud why Gregor was at that meeting but Gregor wasn’t forthcoming.)

“My cousin,” Miles replied, “is still adjusting to his divorce and to find out his family were spying on him – “

“They weren’t,” Eve interrupted. _“I_ was. Look. I know what you’re going to say – again – but it makes a difference. Yes, he’s going to feel betrayed _at first_ but once he realises that none of his family were actually watching him that it was all me, he’ll put the blame where it belongs.”

“My aunt hired you, through Illyan.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to him how protective his mother is.”

But Aunt Alys had never been this intense before Ivan’s divorce. She’d been starting to mellow for a short time but now she was watching Ivan in a way she never had. Everyone had noticed. There was also her push for Ivan to spend more time with Isabella. If Ivan found out Aunt Alys was worried about him last year so much so that she had Eve spy on him in his apartment – Miles couldn’t think how pissed off Ivan would be. Even if Eve had saved Ivan’s life. There were only a handful of people Ivan trusted now. Was Miles worried these revelations would affect his relationship with Ivan? Damn right he was. Miles too only trusted a handful of people.

“No point in risking anything unless we have to,” Miles said.

“I agree but to put it bluntly he’s the priority here, not me or anyone else.” Eve slipped off her chair and began pacing. “If he starts to remember something but doesn’t know what it is – it can be bad. Worst-case scenario - he’ll be trying to fill a memory gap he doesn’t consciously realise is there. That means the worst kind of dreams because they’ll feel like hallucinations; it’ll destroy his peace of mind and he’s _not_ stupid. He’ll start to figure something’s wrong and when he doesn’t get answers he may start to think he’s going crazy. I’m not exaggerating. My going away for nearly a year has made no damn difference; this memory was lying there dormant and I’ve triggered it.” She sighed. “I still can’t believe he’s got such a strong memory of my voice.” Her brow furrowed. “That tranquiliser I shot him with must have cemented it somehow.”

“Perhaps not. My family are all blessed with a lethalmemory and with Ivan - it being a woman’s voice - he would’ve remembered. My cousin doesn’t forget much where women are concerned.”

“Then I’m betting there may be other things he remembers – oh.” Her hazel eyes fixed on his. “Does he confide in you? That would give us a heads-up?”

Miles shook his head. “But he might confide in Ekaterin; she wouldn’t tell me anything if he asked her not to.” Ekaterin was like that, he thought proudly.

“But could you tell her what to watch out for without giving her the reasons? That wouldn’t be betraying a confidence. At least I don’t think so.”

“It won’t,” Miles said, thinking of a way around it. “It’s a good idea, Eve.”

She waved a hand. “This is shutting the stable door while the horse is on a different planet. I know this is my fault.” She sat back down. “ _I_ talked to him while he was falling unconscious under my tranq and God knows what kind of images that conjured up. I’ve never done that before and I didn’t - I have no excuse.”

She’d wanted to comfort him although Eve wouldn’t say it. Her job had been to keep Ivan safe and Eve had taken that so seriously she’d almost jeopardised her cover. Watching Ivan had been her first time, and Miles suspected also her last, on spying on an innocent as a personal favour. It didn’t sit well with Eve’s conscience. She’d probably received the same lecture from Illyan as he had: you don’t use your military skills for personal missions. But Illyan was only human, especially so where Aunt Alys was concerned.    

“We’ll keep an eye on him,” Miles said, “if it comes out so be it and I can assure you my cousin can keep a secret.” _He’s kept many for me after all_. “He won’t reveal you're ImpSec; you can trust him to keep quiet.”

Eve didn’t look reassured. “Then he’s a better person than I am. If I found out someone had been spying on me in the one place I thought was safe and private, I don’t think I’d be so sympathetic.”

Which left Miles with much to ponder.

**

 

_Chapter 3 coming soon!!: where Ivan's troubled by Isabella Aregui's intentions, he's haunted by mermaids and Eve makes enemies in Vorbarr Sultana society._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to you lovely beta readers (Zoya1416, KBooklover, Gwynne) who commented on the previous versions. I wish you had the time to be at my beck and call :) and could beta read these new chapters :) but I know life happens :D But your time has always been appreciated. Hope you get to read these!


	3. Ivan's Mermaid

**Imperial Hotel – Children’s Charity Ball and Dinner**

Miles escorted Ekaterin off the dance floor to a small table so he could have his wife to himself. Ekaterin elegantly seated herself down, smoothing out her sleek wine coloured dress. Miles felt that urge again to point at her and _say ‘My beautiful, intelligent wife, everyone. My wife. Mine.’_

But Ekaterin was distracted. She too had watched Ivan lead Isabella off the floor.

“I think he’s working too hard,” said Ekaterin.

Miles snorted. He hadn’t seen Ivan in a few days but he too was struck by how hollowed eyed he looked. A lot of late nights, Miles hoped.

“I’m serious, Miles.   I was with him when he escorted Isabella and her father to the new gallery – the one off the square.”

“The one with all that modern junk?” he said.

“Yes, Miles. The one you loathe. I’ve been twice with Ivan and he’s never shown a particular interest in any particular piece or,” she added with a thoughtful look, “he’s been careful not to show a particular interest in front of others. But this time he wouldn’t stop staring at Messer’s Mermaid.”

Even Miles had been struck by that one; a painting of a mermaid coming out of stormy water, her hair dark hair filling the painting like clouds or they were clouds. Miles mostly remembered her exposed breasts and arched back. Yeah. Miles didn’t think it was unusual Ivan would be staring at it but Ekaterin was frowning.

“He looked like he’d seen a ghost. When I asked him about it he said a mermaid was haunting his sleep and then laughed it off but the way he sounded…”

Haunting. That wasn’t a good word, and why did mermaids sounds familiar? Miles inwardly swore. The last time he’d last heard Ivan rambling about mermaids was the night that Eve had shot him with the tranquiliser; Miles and the count his father had arrived, at Eve’s bidding, just in time to stop Ivan setting fire to himself and the apartment. A very drunk Ivan had insisted he’d had a conversation with a mermaid who swam off. They’d never spoken about that night since.

Ekaterin sighed. “Ivan needs some time to himself. I’m finding it difficult to believe that his attendance is required at all of these events he’s escorting Isabella to. Miles, you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost yourself.”

Miles forced a smile. “Just remembered something. I just need to have a word with my aunt; won’t be long.”

~~

Ivan escorted Isabella back to their seats. He’d hoped to find others there but Ekaterin was at a different table talking to Duv and Delia, and Miles was talking to Ivan’s lady mother. Ivan could feel his mother’s eyes on him the entire time he’d been dancing. It was giving him a permanent itch between his shoulder blades. Another glance across and he saw his mother had turned away from Miles, and Miles had that steely look. Probably lost an argument. Ivan wished he’d witnessed it.

After telling Ivan about her idea of doing a PhD on Barrayar (something to do with urban planning and health – _dear God, why?);_ Isabella was now speaking again about her father – who she called Carl – and his marriage preoccupation.

“Carl thinks the more time I spend with you the more likely I am to change my mind,” Isabella continued in that matter of fact way, looking over to where her father was chatting to Rene. “He sees it as an alliance, a merger – Carl loves his business speak. That if we married we’d both benefit and still have other lovers – officially or not. It’s not unusual on Escobar and I’m sure it happens still on Barrayar in some fashion.”

“Family alliances via marriage? Rarely these days.” Ivan was wondering where this was going. He’d been a couple of weeks in Isabella’s company and he hadn’t changed his mind. An escort relationship was as far as he was willing to take it and she had said she felt the same.

“I see,” Isabella said, tossing back her dark hair; it fell in shiny, even waves to her shoulders. Not at all like Eve’s uneven, exploding mass of hair that constantly appeared in his nightmares - they didn’t start as bad dreams though. In fact they would start as a pleasantly erotic dream with Eve whispering that ‘everything was going to be alright’ and doing nice, filthy things with her hair, but it would end with him burning in fire. Why couldn’t he get Eve’s voice and face out of his head?

“I admit I am playing a long with Carl a little,” Isabella continued, “as I suspect you are with your mother.”

Ivan sipped his wine, trying to bring his head back into the conversation. Was he humouring his mother? To some extent, yes. Ivan had told her that he wasn’t interested in Isabella but neither of them had broached the subject a second time. It had become a point of pride for him not to, or to react when his mother repeatedly commented on what a pleasant woman Isabella was and how Isabella knew just how to behave.

Isabella smiled. “If I say it’s never going to happen, Carl will listen but he’s persistent. He’s not a bully. I don’t want to give that impression. But when he thinks he’s right he finds another angle. He’ll just find another Lord to escort me around. He was asking about a Lord Vorbretten yesterday.”

Ivan barked a laugh. “Bret? You’ll be lucky to get him out of his district, though saying that I did hear he’s coming up soon. He’s not fond of coming t’town. A decent fellow though,” Ivan said, trying to be fair, “not seen him a while. Manages one of their artsy guilds in the district last I heard. They’re an excellent family.”

“Not trying to get rid of me are you?” Isabella asked, sounding more curious than annoyed but Ivan wasn’t going to take any chances. This was his duty after all.

“Course not. It’s a pleasure to be your escort, Isabella. But if you decide you prefer t’try someone else’s company while you’re here that’s your choice.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t trying to imply I wanted a change, Ivan.”

“Then things will stay as they are; would you like another dance?”

Ivan waited until he was home before he took some painkillers for his hammering head. If he let anyone see they’d all think he was going to have a breakdown. Miles and his mother had been watching him and they thought he hadn’t noticed. Miles had started to ask Ivan about his health for God’s sakes! It was creepy. Ivan could only think his mother must’ve got Miles.

But he was fine. Just having crazy dreams, not sleeping, and now he was wondering about Isabella’s permanent neutral behaviour. He’d been relieved by it at first but now he wondered if she was playing a deep game. Was she interested in gaining a title more than she had let on? Did she mention Bret because he thought he’d be jealous? Was she using her father as a way of feeling him out?

Not that any of it mattered. Ivan wasn’t going to be caught.   He was never going to make the colossal mistake of getting married again and certainly not into some loveless alliance.

Been there, done that, he thought sourly.

**

**Imperial University**

Eve stayed behind in the empty lecture hall to write up her thoughts. She was obtaining some rich material from Ma Kosti which spun off some additional research and today’s class had given her some more ideas. She smiled. Things were beginning to gel more this year and her hard work was finally paying off – all her scores were finally in the upper tier but one slip up would bring her average down.

She packed away her things and made her way out. She had to pick up her dress for tomorrow’s huge soiree at ImpRes. She admitted she was a little excited about this one. If Eve wasn’t studying she was, as promised, attending social events of Laisa’s choosing. Laisa was trying in her own way to introduce Eve into her circle. Eve was surprised it was working and that she’d formed friendships. She never envisioned having a friend like Tatya and she enjoyed attending the music club at the Vorbrettens – she just wished Rene would stop trying to persuade her to pursue a professional music career. She’d also received three requests to sing at two charity events and a wedding. Eve was still considering these. And she hadn’t heard from Miles so she assumed no news was good news and that Lord Vorpatril was fine – she hadn’t seen him since that day at Vorkosigan House. Which was good. Yes. It was better.

Eve walked into the hallway to be confronted by two fellow students and someone she didn’t recognise.

“I hope you don’t mind,” the stranger in the bolero skirt suit said, stepping in Eve’s path. “But my cousin Sarah said you were in her class and I just had to drop by and meet the famous Eve Sorrentti. My name is Karolina Vordester.”

She spoke in that ‘I went to the right Vor school’ accent which to Eve always sounded haughty with some women but she admitted, not proudly, to finding it irresistible in men. (Especially with one specific tall, dark and off-limits man.) But Karolina’s meaningful pronouncement of her name meant nothing to Eve. Sarah, who Eve rarely spoke to since she hung around with a specific Vor crowd, was looking smug; her friend though was fidgeting and looked scared. Interesting.

Eve smiled and looked Karolina in her pale blue eyes. “Hi. Not sure why you’d think I’m famous but thanks for the compliment.”

Karolina’s smile faltered. “But of course you’re famous. Your past makes it so.” She paused and fixed Eve with a look Eve guessed was meant to be either significant or to intimidate her but Eve was too baffled.  

“Alright,” was Eve’s reply. Karolina didn’t look pleased by this reaction.

“I understand that I’ll be hearing you sing at tomorrow night’s ball at the Imperial Residence?”

Eve shrugged. “I’m attending the ball, yes.” Eve hadn’t been asked to sing but trusted her gut not to say so. “Sorry, if you don’t mind I have to go. As you can see, I’m not that interesting.”

Karolina stepped aside and waved her hand as if she was giving Eve permission to leave which amused Eve no end. An amusement which ended when she got to her lightflyer and saw WHORE plastered on it in red. Students watched as she cleaned it up easily – no one offered to help.

The next day Eve received a copy of an old malicious article she hoped to never see again. It had been sent to everyone in the university address book. Her student account was full of ‘anonymous’ (so they thought) abusive messages and messages of support. The messages of support were just as embarrassing as they were from strangers – some in her classes. Eve never socialised with her fellow students and so she was surprised to see _any_ messages of support. When she arrived on campus she saw flimsy copies of the article had been stacked in the student café, library and study room.

She had a short message from Laisa on her wristcom – “Call me. I know. Please do not cancel tonight. Love always, L.”

**

**Imperial Residence – Private Apartments – Blue Parlour**

Laisa sat down carefully. Today she was dressed Barrayaran style, in an elegant off the shoulder gold evening gown that showed off her assets quite nicely.

Eve was supposed to be arriving soon; she had messaged that she would be there but nothing else. Laisa was heartbroken for Eve. Just when Eve was starting to settle in. It was all so unfair. Laisa wanted to get hold of the person who had done this and rip them to pieces.

Tatya was shown in and Laisa asked her to sit. Tatya sat down in a rustle of skirts which were as red as her eyes. Laisa squeezed Tatya’s hand as she sat down. “The reason I asked you to come earlier is so we could get some things out of the way first.”

“It’s so awful,” Tatya sniffed. “How could anyone write that about Eve and send it to everyone. I wonder who could have done it?”

“Leave that to Eve.” Laisa handed Tatya a tissue. “This is what I want to get out of the way. Eve will be here soon and if you’re this upset about it she’ll want to break ties with you for your sake. She’ll stop going to the music club and we don’t want her to do that.”

“I won’t let her! I won’t be like this when she gets here.”

Laisa taking in Tatya’s tear stained face was unconvinced. “I’m going to take you through this article so you know the truth; I have the truth of it all from Eve and Marcus – Eve’s father. So when you speak to Eve you’ll be prepared.” Rather than shocked.

“I admit I’m curious but –”

“Of course you’re curious. I was too. Let’s get straight to it. I don’t have much time. The person who wrote this is called Jase. I call him the bastard so we’ll just call him JB.”

Tatya laughed.

“He worked at the nightclub where Eve and Marcus live and work; Eve’s home on Earth.”

“I know, she told me that. It’s unusual but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with living in a nightclub.”

“Right. Well, JB found out Eve was one of the Betan Ten and tried to blackmail Eve into giving him some of her compensation – money in exchange for keeping her anonymity. She was only thirteen and still a mess; it was only one year after her therapy trauma, and she physically attacked him. Marcus found out what happened and nearly beat JB to death.”

Tatya was wide eyed. “That’s how Eve lost her anonymity?”

“Kind of. After JB recovered he got as far away as possible, sued Marcus and told everyone where one of the Betan Ten survivors was living but implying, as he put in the article, that he was doing this for charitable reasons because he was worried about Marcus’s ability to take care of her. People tried to kill the story because Eve was a minor, not for any other reason, but it was impossible. So the lies in it linger.”

“Eve doesn’t talk much about her past but I can understand why. It’s not her fault.”

“But it’s not what you think. Eve’s mother wasn’t a whore as the article says, neither was Eve raised in a brothel. Eve’s mother waitressed during the day and sang in the evening – which is why Eve calls her a singing waitress. Eve’s mother had a relationship with an Earthan tourist she fell for, not a client, and Eve was the result.”

Tatya expelled an “Oh!” A mixture of surprise and relief. Yes, Laisa was glad Eve wasn’t here. Even if Eve said she didn’t care.

“Eve’s mother did die in childbirth,” Laisa continued, “and Eve was raised by an abusive aunt but she wasn’t a ‘child sex slave’ living in a brothel. Yes, Marcus paid for Eve; he paid Eve’s aunt off but he didn’t buy Eve for sex.”

“Do you have to keep saying that word?”

“What word?” Laisa asked.

“Sex,” Tatya whispered.

“What else do you want me to call it?”

Tatya looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Has Eve told people this? The truth about her past?”

Laisa sighed. “Of course, but as Eve says, people will believe what they want to believe. She tends to be either very sarcastic about it or will brush it off. I sent the university Marcus’s original response to it which details most of the truth and JB’s mercenary character and they said they will post it on the university net but the damage has been done. We’ll just have to stem it as much as we can for Eve’s sake but she’s handled worse.”

“She’s so strong,” Tatya said in awe. “She’s such a survivor.”

Laisa flinched. “Yes, but don’t use that word. She loathes it. So you’ll be alright when she’s here? If you get all emotional -”

“I won’t,” Tatya said. She smiled a watery smile.

“Good. One more thing, as awful as all this is; what Eve hates the most about this article is the part how he says she’s illiterate. How she could barely read when Marcus found her. That was true then but hasn’t been true for over a decade but Eve is still very tender about it. You can understand now why her degree is so important to her?”

Tatya nodded and burst into tears. Laisa sighed and handed her another tissue.

Tatya was eventually escorted back to the ballroom and Laisa went to meet Gregor so they could make the required entrance. The dinner dance was to formally welcome the new Escobaran Ambassador and family and it was full of all the prominent families - Vor or otherwise. This was the first large event Laisa had wanted Eve to attend but now it was all going wrong. The timing of Eve’s slander and her attendance at this ball Laisa didn’t believe was a coincidence.

Laisa received a message from security that Eve had arrived but then a message from Eve herself.

“Damn it,” Laisa muttered.

“What is it?” asked Gregor, taking Laisa’s arm as they walked down to the ballroom surrounded by their attendants.

Laisa pointed to her jewelled wristcom. “Eve says she has proof who did it and they’re at the ball. She says she’s going to confront them. You don’t have to say it, love. I know it will backfire. But,” - she smiled and nodded - “yes, I have an idea how to stop it and work this to Eve’s advantage.”

“I hope it’s to yours too, Laisa. I know you hate to consider that but –“

“I know. Don’t worry. I know what to do and who to recruit to do it.”    


	4. Laisa's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laisa's plan to help Eve has mixed results...

Eve went to the ladies bathroom first and pretended not to notice the hush then mutters when she walked into the plush area. The place was filled with competing perfumes, elegantly dressed ladies and jaw dropping floor to ceiling mirrors. The ladies all parted from her path as if she was contagious. Eve met the eyes of the ones who stared, on her way to face the mirror to check there was no chocolate cake in her teeth or on her face. She also had to make sure her dress was behaving.

It was the first new expensive dress she’d treated herself too. When it came to clothes Eve didn’t like to use her Betan compensation. She liked to use the money she’d earned. She’d also splashed out and had had a slim blue and gold filigree tiara made which held back her flying hair – which she’d braided in places to hold it down. Her dress was in various lengths of blue, green and gold chiffon layers and Eve had a matching thin faux silk scarf around her neck just in case she needed to tie her hair back or strangle someone. Her long boots matched too.

Eve ignored Laisa’s message not to do anything until she spoke to her. Eve had controlled her upset and fury and was thinking quite clearly. This was not Laisa’s fight.

“Eve! Here you are,” Tatya said walking in. “I need to - oh you look wonderful! I knew that dress would be perfect for you and, the tiara too. I - can we sit for a moment?”

Eve frowned but sat down next to Tatya because she looked ill. “Are you alright? Do you want me to fetch Rene?”

“Whatever for? Eve,” Tatya pleaded, lowering her voice. “I’m so desperately sorry this has happened but please don’t do anything here. This would be a terrible place to confront anyone. Terrible for you I mean. Laisa asked me to-“

“Who exactly are Sarah Vordieter and Karolina Vordester?”

Tatya paled. “Was that who you think–oh!” Tatya’s hand flew to her mouth. “It’s all my fault.”

Eve looked up at the people looking towards them and gave them her hardest stare, and they moved away muttering. She squeezed Tatya’s gloved hand. “It’s not your fault and it’s not mine. Tatya, who are they related to?” she whispered

Tatya took a breath. “The Vordesters are related to everyone but they’re quite close and quite – oh Eve, it’s the singer – it’s Madam Vorkouskoff the one I invited to the Vorkosigans. Karolina’s her niece and she was also in my year at school. I can imagine her doing something this cruel. I don’t know Sarah but they’re part of the same circle.”

“Well I know this isn’t the old bat’s style. This would be far too much trouble for Madam Vorkouskoff. This is all them, I have proof and the girls paid me a visit to make sure I knew it. Cocky little - they mentioned me singing here, Tatya. So that’s part of it. They think the old bat should be singing here tonight.”

“That would never have happened,” Tatya said. “The Emperor doesn’t like opera.”

Eve let out a pained laugh. “Oh Tatya, dearest. Do you think that has anything to do with it? Now you go. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“But Eve –“

“Go, I’ll be fine. Don’t I look fine? Don’t you worry about this.”

But when Eve walked out into the vestibule, where many nervous and bored looking men were awaiting their escorts, she was confronted by Lord Vorpatril in his house uniform, which looked even better on him than his undress greens. He stepped away from the men he was talking to, his eyes widened a little when he saw her but he smiled as he closed the distance. He gave her a swift chaste kiss on the cheek which branded her cheek with his warmth, heat and cologne. “Nice to see you again.”

“Uh…what? Oh yeah. You too. I have to be somewhere. Excuse me.”

“So do you want to hit the buffet first or go for some dancing,” he said hooking his arm in that way as if she was meant to take it. She looked up and met his tired eyes.

“You’re not my escort,” she said.

“Oh? Are you with someone? Boyfriend perhaps?”

“No, I don’t have one. Don’t have time for one.” _Why am I telling him that?_ “I mean I’m here alone. On purpose.”

His grin put a light in his eyes. “Then I’m in luck. Buffet or dance or we could just go for a meander?”

Eve sighed, finally understanding his persistence. “L put you up to this didn’t she?”

“If ‘L’ is the empress then yes and Tatya and also Ekaterin were very encouraging. You don’t want me to get into trouble with them do you?”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “You scared of them?”

“Terrified.”

Eve angled her head. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Isabella Aregui? Aren’t you breaking some kind of escort rule - won’t the escort Gods come and find you and do things to you?”

“Isabella is here with family and friends and wants more freedom with her dance card.”

“There are dance cards?”

“It’s an expression. Eve – may I call you Eve?”

“What else would you call me, Lord Vorpatril?”

“Ivan, please. You have a right to confront them,” he said dropping his voice, and sounding very serious, “but if you do it here it’ll damage the empress far more than it will hurt them.”

Eve took in a sharp breath. “This has nothing to do with L. This is my fight.”

“The empress agrees but does it have to be here? Hear me out?” he asked, hooking out his arm again. “So the empress doesn’t hurt me?”

Eve sighed and took his arm. “Fine. I’ll listen, only because you’re so pathetic.”

“Thank you.”

“But it doesn’t mean I’m agreeing with you.”

“Right oh.”

**

Lady Alys watched her son escort Eve around the ballroom, stopping to have conversations with the Vorbrettens, Vorkosigans and briefly with Laisa; Alys was not happy. Not that you could tell from her expression, as she continued her conversation with Simon and watched her son disappear to one of the side rooms.

It was good to see Ivan laugh that way. Alys had missed it but she’d rather not see it in the company of That Girl. It had been Laisa’s idea for Ivan to escort Eve. It puffed up Eve’s standing, upset her enemies and could assist in preventing Eve from making a scene. Those reasons Alys approved of; she felt sorry for Eve, of course she did, and she guessed who had planted that vulgar article but that wasn’t the reason Alys disliked Eve or why she was loathe to help her.

Eve had been responsible for the debacle last year when Ivan confronted Martya outside her home with that very public argument and bonfire. It would never have happened if Eve had called Alys, as she was supposed to have done, but instead Eve had contacted the Vorkosigans who had helped Ivan humiliate himself. Alys didn’t trust her. Both Miles and Simon seemed to think Eve had Ivan’s best wishes at heart but if that was the case why was she on Ivan’s arm? She should have made an excuse and left. Why was she making it more likely that Ivan would discover the surveillance?

That was due to Eve’s mistake too. For Alys, Eve’s mission successes weren’t reflected in how she’d handled her son. Alys didn’t regret spying on Ivan but she regretted that Simon had chosen Eve to do it. Now it was likely Ivan would find out. This had been the only way to protect her boy but that didn’t mean it was in Ivan’s best interest for him to know the truth. Alys doubted Ivan would understand. He wasn’t a parent.

**

Eve waited at one of the small tables and smiled at the pitying looks or sneers people gave her. The part of her that had wanted to stand up and rage at them had beaten a punchbag and meditated before she’d left for ImpRes. The residue had faded somewhat in Ivan’s company. What was left inside her was a cold speech that she was determined to deliver to Karolina and Sarah in person.

She could just go, do it now but she’d promised to stay and wait for Ivan while he obtained cake. Would he return? Yes, he was too dutiful not to. Eve sighed. Of all the people Laisa got to help her! Why did it have to be Ivan? If Ivan knew the truth about her he wouldn’t be here. It was unfair but that’s where secrets got you. Eve had tried to keep her distance from him but it was impossible with someone so affable, funny and yes, so deliciously attractive. He made it easy to be in his company; even with this hanging over her head.

She’d thought hard about what he’d said; she knew he was using her friendship with Laisa to get her to change her mind but unfortunately everything he’d said made sense. To confront Karolina and Sarah here would be seen as the Komarran Empress’s galactic friend humiliating the emperor’s guests. Didn’t the foreign empress know how to handle her friends? They would twist it until the knife was hilt deep. Ivan had also pointed out it would poison Eve’s chances of being invited to any events, hosted outside of the Vorkosigans and Vorbrettens he’d hastened to add, for a long while but Eve didn’t care about that. But Laisa would, for Eve’s sake.

Ivan returned, followed by a servitor who placed a tray of food and drink on the table. Eve couldn’t see anyone else receiving such service except the hosts and guests of honour.

Eve thanked him and Ivan informed her, as he sat down and poured the wine, that it was a ‘46.

“Sorry, Ivan, I’m not a connoisseur; red wine all tastes the same to me.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. Try to look impressed please when I say it again.” He held up the bottle. “This is a ‘46. Try it.”

She sipped the wine and gasped. “My goodness, sir, it is undoubtedly a ’46! How ever did you acquire it?”

“With my sword. I never asked you to lapse into the ToI speak.”

“I’m probably already half drunk. I can’t drink much; messes with my senses which I don’t like.”

“You have to limit your wine intake? Now that’s a tragic story.”

“It is isn’t it? But you got me chocolate cake so all is well.”

It was at that moment that a couple walked past them staring at her and it brought her back with a jolt. Eve and Ivan stared back and they looked away.

“It’ll blow over,” Ivan said in that matter of fact tone which made Eve believe him - for a moment. “I hope you’re going to eat that cake - I acquired it using my invisible sword.”

Eve stared at the enticing cake and pulled her scarf out from around her neck. She used it to tie her hair back at the nape of her neck so she could eat her cake without worrying about food landing in her hair. After demolishing one slice of cake in a comfortable silence, while Ivan ate something more savoury, Eve knew what she had to do.

“I’ve made a decision,” Eve said, placing the fork down, “after going over you’re reasoning, even though you resorted to some quite manipulative, passive aggressive tactics.”

“I did not! Where’s my sword?”

She laughed. “And thinking this through, I realise you’re right. Why do you look so surprised?”

“Not used to women telling me I’m right.”

“Hmm. Well, I’ll pick a different place to deal with these evil witches. I’m not promising it won’t be public but it won’t be _this_ public and neither their families nor Laisa will be around, if I can help it.”

He smiled, leaned back and sipped his wine with an odd look she couldn’t read.

“Aren’t you going to go?” she asked.

“Are you asking me to leave?”

“No but you’ve done your duty – very well by the way. How you’re not tainted by parading me around on your arm after that article,” Eve frowned, “I don’t know, it’s one of the wonders of VS society I’ve yet to understand. But I’ve no intention of dancing and I’ll be going home soon. You should go ask someone to dance or go do something else you enjoy.”

“I am doing something I enjoy,” he said meeting her eyes. _Alright. That was flirty. But that’s just what he does. Remember Miles said that. Do not flirt back._

“Then why is it,” Eve said with the lightest tone she could muster, “you’ve been yawning so much and look so weary.”

Ivan waved a hand. “Just broken sleep and very peculiar dreams…you wouldn’t by any chance – never mind.”  And that other look was back. That puzzled, troubled look. He leaned forward. “I know I know you, Eve. Just wish one of us could remember where we met.”

Oh God. _Peculiar dreams? No sleep? How long has he been like this? I have to tell Miles._

“Does it matter where we met?” Eve asked _. Yes it matters. It matters, Eve. Remember that you idiot._ The look on his face squeezed her heart.

He rubbed a hand over his face. “No, I suppose it doesn’t.”

“There’s something I need to ask you about,” Eve said abruptly, needing so badly to change the subject but knowing Ivan would have to know the truth soon. She had no doubts now she was unpleasantly disturbing his sleep.

“Hmm?” he asked rubbing his eyes.

“Someone wrote something on my lightflyer.”

“I heard about that,” he said looking uncomfortable. “Sorry I-“

“Thanks. It was easy to get rid of - the person who did it used something that made it very easy.   I can’t tell you how I know, but it was an ensign who did it and –”

“What? Who the hell was it?”

Eve was shocked by his tone; how his face changed. It had been a mistake to tell him. Fury lit his entire features.

“I have a recording but no one else will see it,” Eve said trying to adopt a placating tone which wasn’t doing anything to ease the set of Ivan’s jaw, “but those witches must have persuaded him because he did not look happy at all. He looked ill. Not smug like they did. How they got him to do it –“

“What’s his name, Eve?”

“I’m not telling you. He’s just a kid. I want him to know I know and to stop him from even thinking of doing something so stupid again, but I don’t want to get him into trouble with his CO.”

“He should have thought of that before he – God damn it. HQ or ImpSec?”

“I’m not telling you,” Eve said firmly. “I shouldn’t have told you. Look I’m going home. I’m tired. Can’t remember the last time I felt this tired. I think I’ve stayed long enough to prove they’ve not beaten me, right?” she asked, forcing a smile.

“I’ll take you home.”

Eve didn’t trust herself to let him. “No, just walk me out. I brought my lightflyer.”

The lobby leading to the parking area was empty except for security staff; it was too early for people to leave. A couple, enthusiastically entangled on one of the chairs, scurried off laughing when they saw them.  Ivan stopped Eve at the entrance and made another attempt to obtain the ensign’s name. Eve wouldn’t budge.

“Even after what he did you’re going to protect this -”

“I can’t let him taint his career over something so stupid, Ivan. I believe in second chances. I need to speak to him. Those witches went out of their way to do this to me, twice. They had their second chance. He hasn’t.”

He shook his head and smiled. “You’re too kind, do you know that?”

Eve laughed. “You’re saying that? After how sweet you’ve been to me today? Giving me all your time?”

“It wasn’t a hardship,” he said, closing the distance, even as her head was shouting _leave, leave, leave_. “And it wasn’t just duty.”

“Ivan, I-“

His mouth caught the rest of her words. From tender and soft the kiss rapidly blasted into avid and desperate – as if time was running out. His fingers brushed and scalded her neck and sent her hands sliding up to grip his hair, to pull him down in deeper and deeper but she pulled away just as fast. They held a look for a long moment.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped, “I’m so sorry, we can’t do this.” She pushed a hand against his chest, keeping him at a distance. “You’ll hate me. I don’t want you to hate me. You don’t know me.”

“What? Eve, I don’t care about that article.”

“It’s not that, Ivan. It’s something else. Something worse. I have to go and I’m going to clear this up for you and you’ll understand. You think you want me but you don’t.” And that had no right to stab at her but it did. “Please, Ivan, let me go.” Eve said, and was already walking away. “Let me go.”

 

Ivan let her leave. But that kiss had left him with a mix of emotions - horny, confused and his instincts telling him that the 'something worse' Eve mentioned he just wouldn’t want to know. He should just let her go for good. Wasn't she already attracting trouble? But when he picked up the scarf that had fallen out of Eve’s hair and held it to his face - it made him smile, and concentrated that lusty ache in his blood. _Eve._ He had to see her again. Had to taste her again.

 

Back in the ballroom Christos, reminding himself that it wasn’t his place to judge, reported what he’d witnessed to his Lady. Lady Alys watched her son return shortly after with a look on his face that concerned her greatly. This was going too far. Eve had gone too far.

“I need you to come home with me,” Lady Alys said to Ivan. “We need to talk.”

“Now?” he asked. He had wanted to ask Laisa for Eve's number.

“This is important, Ivan. After what happened today I see I have no choice but to tell you.”

She could see her tone had sobered him up. The smile was gone. “If this is about Isabella - ”

“No, it’s about Eve. It's about time you knew the truth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter titles are likely to change and the main title of the fic (which I know isn't very imaginative!) but at the moment these are the best I can come up with.


	5. Ivan is Not Pleased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Ivan's kiss at the ImpRes ball leads to revelations, calls to Allegre and Illyan for Ivan, and a lack of sleep for Miles who just wants someone to carry him to bed.

**Vorkosigan House**

Miles made rapid calculations in his head: was it feasible to take Ekaterin away for their lengthy galactic honeymoon tomorrow? Yes, if he had a Time Machine he could do just that and get away from all this family drama.  He closed the door of the library, took a gulp of coffee and made the call to Eve.  Unfortunately she was still awake; she was also still in her evening dress, her tiara skewed on her head and she was eating a very large chocolate cake. He explained to her what had just transpired and asked,

“Do you ever eat anything other than cake?”

Eve scowled. “Let me get this straight, Lord Vorkosigan,” - her tone reminding him of Aunt Alys’s arctic one. “I asked you a couple of hours ago if we could tell your cousin the truth and you said your aunt thought he was _just fine_ and we couldn’t tell him yet.”

“Eve-“

“And _now_ you’re telling me she’s gone and told him about me without telling any of us first? What happened to our agreement? Revealing to him I'm an agent isn't small potatoes you know! She shouldn't have done it this way!”

_My aunt’s gone crazy where Ivan’s concerned and she blames you for everything._

“What’s done is done,” Miles said tersely. “Nothing we can do now but wait – you won’t be hearing from Ivan tonight. I suggest we both get some sleep. It is two in the morning.”

“What does that have to do with anything? Is he alright? Iv - Lord Vorpatril?”

_He’s pissed off and fucking furious._

“Shocked, angry – as you’d expect.  I explained _when_ I knew about you but right now he doesn’t believe me. He wants to speak to Allegre and Illyan before he speaks to you or to me again. So…” Miles drowned the last of his coffee, “do you know what set my aunt off?”

She put her cake down and looked away. “I’m sorry?”

Miles waited until she looked back at him and pinned Eve’s flickering hazel eyes with his own. _Yeah, you know, Eve. You know._

“Before the ball my aunt was adamant Ivan didn’t need to know but something changed her mind.” He deliberately paused and then added, “Since you and my cousin spent all that time together I thought you may know.”

“I never spoke to your aunt,” she said, tearing her eyes away. “I know she doesn’t like me.”

Miles liked the way she tried to change the subject but it wasn’t going to work. Eve was unimpressed by Miles’s rank and position (although he knew how to push both to intimidate when he needed to) so with Eve he tried a different tactic. Guilt.

“She doesn’t know you, Eve. She’s annoyed because you made a choice to call Vorkosigan House and not her the night Ivan needed help – like he needs help now and so do I.” She looked back at him and he caught her eyes again.  “If you know anything it would be beneficial to us all; you wouldn’t want me to be blindsided with my next conversation with Ivan would you?”

She looked stricken. “No, course not but –“

“Especially as Ivan is going through such a terrifically bad time right now.”

Eve looked mortified.  He sighed heavily.

“It would be best I had all the facts,” Miles continued, “so I could help him.  I’m sure you agree.  Do you have any clue at all what could have caused my aunt to tell him?”

Eve let out a little sound. “She must’ve seen us – it was just a kiss goodbye.”

Miles jolted. “You kissed Ivan?”

“It wasn’t on purpose! Besides, he kissed me first,” she said defensively.

From the look on her face Miles figured she wasn’t talking about a peck on the cheek. Oh perfect. Miles tried not to dwell on how Ivan was taking this.

“And you stopped it of course,” Miles stated.

“Yes…eventually.  Look I know it shouldn’t have happened. I know I’ve made things worse for him. I know it. Your cousin – he throws me off! I don’t know what it is about him.  I’m not made of stone you know, and he’s a damn good kisser.” She rubbed her lips with her fingers and sighed. “Damn good, but I guess you must know that.”

“I - What?”

“Your cousins, you grew up together - didn’t you two ever – you know – play around with each other?”

“No we didn’t,” Miles said, incredulous at Eve’s suggestive tone.

“But not even for practice? Tatya was telling me a lot of Barrayaran girls, hmm but that may just be girls I guess. So did you look at my report?”

“You wrote a report about the kiss?”

She laughed and ran a hand through her lengthy hair, her tiara falling off. “Oh God, it really is late isn’t it? My _security_ report on Vorkosigan House?”

“Oh. That.”

Miles told her he had and that he thought Eve’s suggestions were interesting but they were happy with the arrangements at the House thank you very much.

“But you’re going to have uterine replicators in the house. Don’t you think –”

“They’ll be safe and I don’t want to discuss this any further.” As if he would take risks with his children! Like he didn’t know how to secure his own home?

“Alright, no need to get all snippy.”

“It’s late like you say. I apologise,” he said through his teeth, “and I appreciate your report even though I didn’t ask for it and it wasn’t required. If Ivan wants to talk to you I’ve asked him to tell me first so you may get a warning.”

“Or I may not.”

“No.  Get some sleep, Eve,” he said and tried to lighten his tone. “Hey, at least it’s all out in the open now?”

“Yeah. That it is. Goodnight.”

Miles cut the com and leaned back with a long drawn out sigh which turned into a yawn.  He remembered there were nights when he pretended to be asleep so his father would carry him up to bed.  He smiled at the memory of his father saying, _‘Don’t think I don’t know you’re awake. Tomorrow you carry me to bed’._    God, whatever made him think of it? Ah but it was a nice memory. Falling asleep downstairs –Miles loved that. He and Ivan had even slept under the living room table a few times when they were kids; they’d go camping there when they weren’t able go out to the lake. Miles frowned. Yeah, so he’d slept with his cousin but they were kids and they damn well hadn’t kissed. Miles shook his head still not sure if Eve was serious or if it was just another aspect of her peculiar humour. He never would have pegged Ivan for going for someone like Eve though – her life was too messy, but there was no point thinking of it – that definitely wasn’t going to happen now.

 

**Ivan’s Apartment – The Early Hours**

Ivan downed something suitably alcoholic while he waited to hear back from Allegre.  When he did the first thing he asked Allegre was who else had been given security clearance to _violate his privacy and spy on him in his apartment_. Allegre had brought a haggard looking Simon in on the call and said it was best that Simon was part of the conversation.  Simon hadn’t been there when Ivan’s mother had broken the news to Ivan; Miles had arrived shortly after but all that stayed with Ivan were two things: Eve was a damned agent and his mother wasn’t a damn bit sorry she’d hired her.

Allegre was factual and sounded truthful but his answers led Ivan to talk more to Simon. It became apparent that Allegre hadn’t had anything to do with the surveillance. Allegre and Illyan assured Ivan that he was no longer under any internal surveillance; the rarity of the need to do so and they went over Ivan’s current security arrangements. Ivan had no choice but to take their word for it. Ivan’s insistence that his mother should not be allowed, ever, to override the current arrangements was agreed. But Ivan wasn’t optimistic. Allegre left the call and Ivan was left to speak to Simon; demanding to know who had access to what Eve has seen and heard.  But Simon corroborated what Miles had said. 

“You’re trying to tell me,” Ivan said, still incredulous, “that Eve was watching me all those weeks, on her own, and never recorded anything or sent reports?”

“Yes,” Illyan said. “Ivan, your mother was concerned about you, after you and Martya separated we all were. You were spending a lot of time alone in your apartment.”

Ivan said nothing to that.  

“Your mother did ask for updates from Eve,” Illyan continued, “but Eve refused to give any.”

Ivan uttered a short laugh. “She refused m’mother? Honestly?”

Simon smiled a little. “Through me, they had no direct contact.  I transcribed what Eve said, Ivan. So I would remember,” he said drily, “should this day come, and so as not to tamper with the text. This is word for word Eve’s reply:

 _“And that’s why we had an agreement. I have nothing to tell you. You want to protect his privacy a_ _nd to_ _keep him safe? This is how it is. If I need to call anyone, I have your list. You have to trust me, sir. There will be no reports on this in any shape or form. No updates, no vids, no anything.”_

Ivan was quiet for a while, wishing he couldn’t hear Eve’s soft husky voice when Simon read those words.  

Illyan sighed. “I need a promise from you Ivan. She’s a valuable asset her and the other agents in this program –”

“I won’t tell anyone who she is, sir,” Ivan said looking appalled. “Whatever I think of her, I know my duty.”

Illyan nodded. “Ivan,” Illyan said, his voice strained. “Your mother meant well.”

Ivan just shook his head. “Goodnight, Simon.”

*

Eve didn’t sleep. She put Ivan aside for now, tried to close him up in a room in her head, and concentrated on other things - a presentation she had to do for class; her plans for Karolina and no matter what Miles said, she thought about the security at Vorkosigan House. 

But throughout the day Ivan would pop back in to her head –

 _How is he? Are his dreams better? How mad is he? What does he think of me now? And why, oh why can’t I stop feeling his kiss._ She was behaving like she’d never been kissed before! It was just a kiss; she kept telling herself it meant nothing now. She had to remember that.

It all meant nothing now.

**Out and about in V(orbarr)S(ultana)**

Eve looked from the other side of the street at the Tsakiris clinic. It had had an interesting history; started off in two houses as health services for the poor, was burnt down in the famous fire that had swept through the caravanserai post-war and was rebuilt again.  Now it had a permanency about it.

Parking area on the roof, a children’s wing and playground and this was as close Eve could get without feeling ill.  She turned the corner, leaned against the wall, steadied her breathing and called the clinic on her wristcom. She apologised and cancelled her meeting again. Today was not the day she wanted to take a trip back to her childhood. 

Instead she took a walk to the Great Square where she had promised to meet Tatya and René to watch the Russian dance displays. The dances were to launch and promote the competition between district teams. It would be a welcome distraction from her failure to face that part of her childhood that she couldn’t let go.  There were locals and tourists packing the square and a festival atmosphere helped by the bright weather. Eve sniffed as a stiff breeze carried the scent of all the food vendors and the cheers of the crowd. 

Tatya or really her Armsman, Eve supposed, had managed to secure a café table that overlooked the edge of the square. A prime view. But Eve couldn’t see René just someone who looked like an untidy version of him; the same good looks but longer hair, dressed in a faded, frayed long coat and he had a hesitant smile.

“Oh you’re here!” Tatya said to Eve.  “Eve, let me introduce you to Lord Vorbretten.”

“Call me Bret,” he said quietly holding out his hand, “everyone else does. I’m the younger brother no one likes to talk about.”

She smiled. “I’m Eve Sorrentti – the one everyone likes to talk about.”

“So I’ve heard. VS gossip never changes; nine parts lies, one part fantasy. But they were right about your hair.” His smile became fuller. “Glad it wasn’t an exaggeration.”

“Thank you,” and she laughed.  They watched the frenetic dancing which was as enjoyable as the riot of colourful costumes and during the interval Tatya kept up chatter about her soon to be born children encouraged by Bret and Eve.

“We’re hoping Bret will visit more when we have to be here.  Not that you’re not doing great work in the district,” Tatya said and sang Bret’s praises for managing their artisan guilds while Bret rolled his eyes.  The Vorbretten District was full of guilds that were linked via their councils. Eve hadn’t come across any two districts that managed their people and services the same way but she knew that one of the Vorbrettens’ major revenues and exports was their arts and crafts.

Bret’s easy manner and the way he quietly teased Tatya made him restful company to be in but he did lapse into silences until Tatya coaxed him out.  Eve knew Tatya was going out of her way to be seen with Eve which Eve said was kind of her but not required. Tatya denied it saying she loved Eve’s company.

“Tatya knows what it’s like to be ostracised and talked about by the VS society idiots,” Bret said casting his eyes about. “Don’t know how you can stand it here, Tatya after the way they treated us when the Vorbretten dodgy genes went public.”

Eve kissed Tatya’s cheek. “Tatya’s a strong woman. Surely you know that by now, Bret? And a woman of grace.”

Tatya blushed. “Thank you and I can say the same about you.”

“Apologies for the lateness,” René said sliding in as an Armsman led him through to the table.

“Busy checking the accounts I brought?” Bret asked.

René looked like he’d tasted something foul. “No, Bret. Traffic. Hello, Eve. Did you look at those brochures I sent?  There’s some excellent music courses here. Better ones in my district though not that Vorbarr Sultana doesn’t have a lot to offer.”

“Not had a chance yet,” Eve said standing up. Time to avoid this conversation of René wanting to expand her music repertoire. “I’m just going to look at the vendors.”

Before she could walk away she saw who was weaving their way to their table; Lady Alys and a tall beautiful, sleek brunette – ah that must be the famous Escobaran Isabella Aregui who everyone was talking about. She had two PhD’s too, Eve had heard and – _oh hell._  Ivan. Ivan of course was with them. Her stomach seemed to fall out somewhere before her training kicked in to steady her pulse; she felt like she was under a spotlight. They all exchanged hellos and Ivan gave her a short nod which Eve returned and Ivan looked away.

“Dear God is that you, Bret?” Ivan said, “I thought you were still holed up in your district.”

Bret shrugged.  “And I’ll be back there soon enough.”

Tatya greeted Isabella and asked, “How are you enjoying our fair town, Isabella?”

Isabella took the seat Eve had vacated and Eve shook her head at Bret and René before they said anything.  Isabella said all that was diplomatic in reply to Tatya, and Eve was starting to like her. She seemed intelligent and steady.  Laisa had asked Eve to keep an open mind with Isabella since Eve wasn’t keen on her father’s business practices.   Laisa also warned Eve to tread carefully since she was still a focus of gossip which Eve slightly resented. It wasn’t as if she courted trouble.

But then Isabella mentioned how she’d visited various clinics including the Tsakiris clinic, how her father was impressed with their work and how her father was considering investing in the programs there with his partners.

“Investing?” Eve said sharply and the chatter silenced at the table. “You mean implementing Programs owned by your father’s company and partners? Therapy programs? Isn’t the Betan’s Healthy Minds Incorporated now co-owned by your father?”

Isabella nodded. “Yes,” she said in a placating tone which irritated Eve, “and they are tried and tested programs, Eve. They’re known galactic wide.”

“So I’ve heard,” Eve said drily, “and anyone who uses them has HMI plastered all over the clinics, replacing the old names. They bring their own people in, don’t they? And ignore the local culture, in fact they try and obliterate any reference to it.”

“It isn’t like that at all,” Isabella said. “That’s a misinterpretation. They bring advisors to help set the programs up.”

“Who never leave. You won’t be able to do that with the Tsakiris clinic.”

She’d damn well kick up a stink if they tried!

Isabella looked thoughtful. “Carl is not unreasonable. He would never destroy what a place holds dear and the clinic is one of many he’s looked at.”

“Oh I’m sure it is. Corporate colonisation is after all what HMI is known for. Why rape one clinic when you can gang rape a few in one go.”

There was a pause before Isabella spoke. “I can see you’re quite passionate about it, but I disagree with your assessment.”

“I’m not surprised you do,” Eve said.  “Excuse me; I was just going to check out the vendors before you arrived.” 

“I’ll join you,” Bret said and followed her out of the crowd.

But after a short time at the vendors he returned to his family alone to say he was escorting Eve home. Even though Eve had insisted she didn’t need an escort.

“I know you don’t, Eve. Truth is you’re my excuse to leave – an excuse which won’t make Tatya worry.”

She couldn’t help smile at his affection for Tatya.

“We can go our separate ways or we get a drink somewhere less crowded,” Bret continued, “and if you want you can tell me what the story is between you and Vorpatril. I saw the looks. You should be careful.”

Eve wondered who else had seen it. “Yes to the drink, no to the other. There is no story.”

 


	6. The Importance of a Bathroom Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Day in The Life of An Aide, How Not To Talk to A Women Who Knows Her Exits, Why Can't I Escape From My Family?

Life continued as it always has to.  Eve had her studies and more time since her invites to sing at various events were all rescinded.  Laisa and Tatya were furious on her behalf but Eve wasn’t as concerned. These people weren’t her friends.  Eve just wished Laisa wouldn’t worry so much about Eve’s pariah status.

And things just got worse.

Isabella had asked, through Laisa, to meet with Eve again so that Eve could listen to Carl’s side of things.  The luncheon didn’t go well.  Isabella was objective and calm when she disagreed. Carl was not. He was an ageless looking man; black spiky hair, thin build and sharp  green eyes.  He was very attractive – until he opened his mouth.

He insinuated that Eve had insulted his daughter at the square, even though Isabella protested that wasn’t the case. Laisa’s surprise showed that this wasn’t how she’d envisioned this conversation going. Carl voiced his dislike of people like Eve who had ‘emotional’ opinions due to past trauma which gave them a false sense of entitlement to ‘damage progress’.  This all caused Laisa to politely end the lunch early due to a (made up) emergency she had to attend. 

So Eve was shocked when she received an invite to the greatly anticipated Ball at the Escobaran Embassy with an apology attached from Isabella for the ‘misunderstanding at the lunch.’ It was suitably vague and obviously not from her father.

But Eve had other more important things on her mind.  She finally managed to get to the ensign who had decorated her lightflyer.  He frequented an out of the way café called Mario’s and there were no other officers there.  Her brief talk with him didn’t go well and Eve wasn’t sure what to do next.

And then as with all things in her life, when she wasn’t expecting it she got that message from Miles. Ivan wanted to see her that evening if she was available. So this was it. She felt half sick and half relieved.

**

Eve entered Ivan’s apartment, wiped her boots on the boot cleaner and met Ivan’s hard stare; he was leaning against the balcony doors, and was still in his uniform. The apartment smelled of Ivan, his subtle cologne and just – him.

“Make yourself at home,” Ivan said.  “I’m sure you know your way around.” 

Eve embraced the sharp tone. _Let him get it out of his system. He has the right. For a little while._   Eve glanced around the tastefully decorated living space. She liked those large dark comfy sofas – quite sumptuous.

“It’s different actually, new furniture, also it’s a lot tidier from when I last saw it. You’re not going to use that stunner, I hope,” she asked.

“I – what?”

Eve stayed where she was at the doorway. “I’ve heard your family’s a little trigger happy when it comes to those and I’m unarmed.”

“I’m not going to use my damned stunner,” Ivan said. 

“Then you won’t mind disarming and placing it on here,” she said indicating to the small table near the door.  “I’m not going to stay if you don’t.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Ivan said.

“I’m not doing this to be difficult,” Eve said softly. “I could take it from you but I don’t want to do that and you don’t want me to do that.  I want to feel safe while I talk to someone who is angry at me _and_ has a weapon.”

Ivan shook his head, muttered something as he walked over and placed his stunner on the table.   Eve thanked him and walked into the sitting room. 

“So where do you want to start?” Eve asked Ivan.

Ivan moved to where she was stood and hands gestured to the sofa. “Please sit. Oh. Would you like a drink?”

The absurdity of it almost made her laugh but he looked serious.

“I’d rather stay standing and no thank you to the drink.  You have questions I’m sure. You don’t have to pretend I’m a guest.”

Ivan nodded. “Fine.”

Ivan sank into the sofa, poured some wine into a large glass, leaned back and stretched out his long, long legs.  He stared at her, a frank look with those dark brown eyes as he swirled the wine, as if in rhythm to those bats that had woken up in her stomach.

“My sofa doesn’t bite,” he said.

“Well, since you’re sitting down, I might as well.” Eve sat on the opposite corner of the sofa, sinking into it.   “Oh it’s very comfy,” Eve said, bouncing a little. “Comfier than mine.”  She stopped bouncing when she realised what she was doing and since Ivan didn’t respond she filled the silence. “My sofa’s old. It was show furniture, came with the apartment. Never had the time to replace it. Should really make the time. I should make a note of it…”

Silence. Ivan drank some more wine and asked. “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?”

“If I don’t say yes you’re just going to keep asking me aren’t you? This perfectly illustrates where socialisation lets you down.  You’ve probably had these manners hammered into you and that’s great but I must really be the last person in the galaxy you want to offer a drink and yet here you are offering me one and letting me sit on your comfy sofa.”

Ivan visibly blinked and asked, “Is that a yes or no?”

Eve sighed.  “Fine, I’ll have one. Thank you.”

Eve held the glass of wine he handed to her but didn’t drink a drop. It gave her something to do with her hands.

“You’re going to have to talk,” Eve said, swirling the glass contents as Ivan had, “or I’m going to start rambling like an idiot.”

He angled his head and quirked a brow. “Start?”

That shouldn’t have hurt but it did. She scowled. “I’m not an idiot.”

“I never said you were. You brought it up.”

_I am an idiot._

This wasn’t the Ivan from the ball. What did she expect? But it did the trick. It dispersed the fog that had let her tongue get away from her. 

“If you want to rearrange this to a different time,” Eve said, “we can.”

“Why aren’t you drinking my wine?” he asked, sitting up and placing his empty glass on the table with a clatter.  “Do you think I put something in your glass?”

“Not until you said that I didn’t,” she said attempting lightness but failing.

“Where do you get off being so paranoid about me? I’m not the one who lied about who I am or what I did. Like you lied with that kiss.”

He wasn’t raising his voice but she could hear it – the bubbling fury. 

_Stick to facts, Eve._ “You initiated the kiss so don’t pretend otherwise, and yeah, I kissed back. I got caught up in a moment, but nothing would have happened between us. I wouldn’t have let it. I tried to tell you we couldn’t let it go further. ” But he was looking at her as if she was a distasteful puzzle. 

“I don’t even know who you really are. How will I know if anything you say is the truth?”

“I’ve never lied to you, this is me. I just didn’t tell you about my job or about watching you.”

“ _Just?_ It’s nothing to you then? ‘Just?’ You do this all the time? Do you spy on your friends too?”

“I didn’t mean it that way.  And no I never abuse my skills. Watching you was a one off. I can see you’re not going to believe me so perhaps it’s best you ask someone you do trust about me instead. Illyan or –“

“Ah yes, more people who lied to me. What was the thing with my stunner? You weren’t like that at the ball.”

_We were different people then._ She didn’t like the way he glanced back at the stunner. _No he wouldn’t. Would he? No, he wouldn’t…_

“This isn’t a public place,” Eve said attempting a casual shrug, “and you weren’t pissed off like you are now.”

She nearly added that she could take it from him easily but it would sound like a challenge and what she needed to do was not make this situation worse.  She should never have agreed to meeting him like this.

“I suppose you think I shouldn’t be pissed off?” He was up and pacing now and looking at his door. He glanced at the stunner again and her heart flipped. “You think I should be reasonable about this? About you watching me when there was no need to. Lying to everyone about who you are.”

“I’ve never been in this situation before, Ivan –“

“Lord Vorpatril,” he said, head whipping around and glaring at her, “or would that be Captain to you? What is your rank?”

“I don’t have one. They never gave us one. They just call us agents and we use codenames.  Can I use your bathroom?”

He looked startled. “What?”

She stood up slowly. “Bathroom, toilet, ladies room. I need to pee.”

He hesitated, ran a hand through his hair disturbing it so it went at all angles. “Fine. Yes. Through there. But you know that too right?”

She did know it. She locked the door as soon as she entered. The bathroom was the same shiny metal and glass she remembered but a lot cleaner. Not filled with all the things Ivan tried to flush down the lav when he was having his mini breakdown over his wife. Eve put the toilet lid down and stood on it and quietly opened the window. It wasn’t a large opening but it was large enough.  She unsealed one of the many invisible pockets in her boots and pulled out the zip wire. She’d already planned this as a back-up exit when she’d watched Ivan last year. Just in case. She never thought she’d be using it now. Not like this. But no thinking of this until she was safe. She looked out, the wind whipping her hair, she looked up at the wall, at her exit.  Yep, it was still doable.

It wasn’t until she got home, until she got out of all her clothes and stepped into the shower that she felt she could breathe out. Her eyes hot and throat aching.

_Hr hates me. You will not cry about this. You will not cry about this._ She had a long, long shower where she didn’t cry about it for an hour.

**

**Vorkosigan House**

Now that their own children had been kicked off in the uterine replicator Miles and Ekaterin’s honeymoon plans were finally taking priority.  The plan was also that they could watch their children grow in the URs while they were away too and be ready in time when they got back to pop them out into their arms. It was perfect. They’d be perfect. Miles was looking forward to it all and to finally having his wife to himself for a long stretch of time.

He was especially looking forward to being away from certain family members.

“What do you want now, Ivan?” Miles asked turning to Ekaterin. “This is your fault for encouraging him to visit. Now he’s here all the time. I warned you this would happen.”

Ekaterin took Ivan’s cheek kiss with a frown.  “What’s wrong? You’re awfully pale, Ivan.”

“I need to speak to Miles. Sorry, Ekaterin.” Ivan practically shoved Miles out of the bedroom into the lift.  “Library,” Ivan said tersely, “more privacy.”

It was only because Miles knew who Ivan had been speaking to that Miles let himself be manhandled.  As soon as the library door closed behind them Ivan let out a strangled,

“Call Eve.” He pointed to the comconsole. “Call her. Makes sure she’s – call her now.”

“What? Why?”

Ivan opened and closed his mouth and paced and then turned to back to Miles and said with a wild, wide-eyed stare. “I’m on the _32 nd _floor.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“Eve. She – she went out of m’damned bathroom window.”

Silence and then Miles burst out laughing. “What?”

“Just call her! Makes sure she’s alright!”

Miles folded his arms, planted his feet and Ivan averted his eyes. “What did you do to her, Ivan?” Miles asked channelling both his parents.

“Not what you’re thinking,” Ivan said indignant. “Call her first. Didn’t you hear what I said? Window. 32nd floor!”

“I’m not worried about her safety,” Miles said, “I know what she can do. I’m worried about what you did to make her do it.”

Ivan turned away and stayed out of visual range while Miles called. Eve didn’t answer and Miles held up his hand to Ivan’s inarticulate cry. Miles left a message asking for assurance that she was alright.

“She’ll call back,” Miles said, waiting.

“How do you know she –“

The chime sounded. “See.”

Eve’s image didn’t appear above the vid plate but her strained voice did. “I’m fine. He wasn’t ready to talk, Miles. He was angry and, I’m not saying he doesn’t have a right to be, but he wasn’t ready to talk.  I had to leave. It was easiest way to leave without causing a scene. If he still has questions we can work out a way of communicating where we don’t have to be there in person. I’ll call tomorrow. I’ve got a paper to write.” And she cut the com.

Miles turned on his cousin. “I want to know exactly what you did and said and don’t think you’re leaving this room until I’m satisfied.”

“This is none of your damned business!”

“You just made it my _damned_ business, now sit down and talk.”

**One week later**

Although Ivan was glad he had a reprieve from escorting Isabella, he’d had another gruelling day ensuring Admiral Desplains back to back meetings went smoothly, uninterrupted and that all the quirks of the higher-ups were administered to the last detail. Admiral Royston insistence of everything being on flimsies (as well as on his portable console) was always a joy to administer, secure and – after every meeting - incinerate.  Admiral Vorsyke barked random questions at Ivan during the few meetings Ivan was part of and Ivan always answered, reeling off facts and figures in a way that Vorsyke’s aide cast murderous looks at him until Ivan smoothed it over by buying the fellow a drink and listening to him bitch about his boss. (You didn’t want to make enemies of these fellows.) 

Ivan had also arranged the dinner for that evening; making sure the right wines were there, that the chef hadn’t changed the menu ( like last time) and that the seating arrangements wouldn’t cause so much as a ripple.  Ivan checked the security arrangements again and although he was seated with the other aides in a separate area, he spent some of that time dealing with Desplains new travel arrangements and the change of itinerary for the next day.

Today was supposed to be the last day of these particular meetings before Desplains was off with his family for a short holiday where Ivan’s services wouldn’t be required. But as usual there were some last minute changes and the Desplains wouldn’t be leaving in the morning but in the late afternoon and likely as always cutting his holiday short.

Ivan had had to break the news to Madam Selina, Desplains wife, who took it with her usual grace and then tried to set Ivan up with her niece, which Ivan managed to reflexively side-step without offending her. She told him again how much she preferred him to the last aide and she couldn’t believe he’d only been with her husband a few months. Neither could Ivan; he and Desplains had a good rhythm going and Ivan hoped to be Desplains’s aide for a long to come.

Ivan finally made it home in the early hours, looking forward to some time alone and mused at how the day had ended as he yawned and staggered his way on to his apartment floor. The dinner went smoothly but Royston’s new aide had made a pass at him; not a subtle one either. Ivan had handled it as well as he handled all the other times that happened. He’d gotten a few from his own sex since his divorce; he wondered if they thought it was a signal or something that he wasn’t with anyone lately. He opened the door of his apartment and felt the emptiness hit him as he stood on the threshold. There was being alone and there was being alone.

“Hey.”

He swore, staggered and turned.  “You trying to kill me?” He clutched his chest since his heart was trying to escape.

Eve bit her lip, her eyes twinkling in the dull corridor light. “Sorry,” she said not looking in the least bit sorry. “I thought you heard me.”

“No, I didn’t I – what are you doing here?” Ivan looked at his wristcom. “It’s 3 in the morning.”

“I can come back later if you’re busy. You said to come by when I felt ready to speak to you again.”

He stared. _“Now?”_

“I arrived a couple of hours ago but I was told you were out so I waited in my flyer. Got a lot of reading done. You look different in that.” She pointed at his chest.

“What? Oh.” Ivan looked down at his dress greens. “Yes, well. Was a formal dinner.”

“Yeah, was it nice?”

“I wasn’t at it, just arranged it.”

She frowned. “But you had to be in dress uniform?”

“It’s a tradition for – never mind.”

Eve let out a soft laugh and tugged at her hair. “You know it _is_ late. I don’t sleep much and I forget sometimes what’s normal. You’ll probably have to get back to work soon. Best I go, let you get some rest and we can – ”

“Can’t rest,” he said bluntly. “I can’t sleep.” He forced a smile. “Not since we met. You know why don’t you? ”

 “I don’t but I can guess.”

“Then please come in.”

 


	7. Other Things You Can Do With Thigh High Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivan gets answers and something else

Ivan took off his boots at the door and told her she didn’t have to do the same; she wiped her boots thoroughly on the boot cleaner and waited for him to go ahead of her into the apartment.  Ivan hesitated, turned, removed his stunner and placed it firmly on the table by the door.  She looked from the stunner and back to him with a look of such utter surprise he laughed.

“Give me a moment,” he said. He closed the bathroom door behind him and washed his face with ice water.  _You can handle this better, Ivan. Remember you used to be able to speak to women without them wanting to leave you._

He looked up at his bathroom window. He hadn’t seen her since that day.  He’d sent her a written apology telling her he hadn’t meant to offend her and that when she was ready he would like to talk to her. He needed to talk to her. Needed to set things straight.  He unbuttoned his high collar and padded barefoot back into the room where Eve was still standing.

He asked her to sit down and this time she did, but he sat opposite her and leaned forward.

“I’m not one of those fellows,” he said abruptly. “I think you got the wrong end of the stick.”

“What fellows?”

“The kind that use stunners to hurt women  – Miles told me something happened to you. Not details but enough.”

“Oh,” she said in a long breath. “I wish he hadn’t done that. Guess it is in my file.” She muttered something and turned her head to where his stunner rested. “You were furious. I saw you looking at it and –“

“No. I mean I s’pose I was looking at it but I was just curious as t’why you made me put it there. I was angry about the spying. They were separate. I would never attack a woman like that. I’m not like that.”

“You’re offended?”

“Of course I’m offended!”

She grinned then, a grin which lit his blood and the tension in the room dissipated. “You’re offended,” she said softly.

“This makes you happy?”

In seconds she was seated next to him.  “Yes – means you care about such things.  Miles said I had it wrong, and you never did seem like that.”

“You didn’t have to go out the window!”

“No, but I didn’t want to see if you’d try and stop me and since you knew who I was I didn’t have to worry about my cover. Anyway let’s forget that and start again.  We need to talk about you. You 

can’t sleep since you met me because you remembered my voice and this is messing with your head – so what’s going on?”

Ivan cleared his throat. “How about a drink?” He stood up. “I could do with a drink.”

Eve stood with him, held each of his hands with her own and looked up at him. Her sweet, spicy perfume distracting as were her tendrils of hair floating on to his uniform. “You can tell me.  No need to be embarrassed. It’s just you and me here and think about it, after this is resolved you’ll get your sleep back I’m sure and we never have to speak of it again.  How about I start?”

She pulled her hands away and Ivan instantly missed their heat. She paced a little, her long hair bouncing against her back and backside as she did. Nice.  He raised his eyes quickly as she turned back to him.  “It has to be about when I spoke to you after I’d shot you with the tranq, so we can go straight to that day, put it in context.”

He nodded. “Yes, alright.”

Eve walked over to _that_ old room; she turned to him and he reluctantly nodded. She opened the door into the bare, undecorated space. He’d painted it white and had the scratched wood floor cleaned but that was all. He kept it closed.

“You were about to set fire to lots of her things you’d placed on the bed,” Eve said so carefully he smiled at her attempt of tact.

 “I’m not going t’go crazy if you say her name though I’d rather you didn’t.”

“I could just call her your ex?”

“S’fine.”

She walked around and pointed to the security panels on the ceiling. “Before you were going to start the fire you disabled the fire security and sensors.”

“I didn’t want anything putting the fire out,” he said defensively.

“I understand but you also did this.” She walked over and closed the door. “So if you started a fire in here, nothing would extinguish the fire – great for the fire but not for you. The rest of the sensors in the apartment were working. They would sense the fire and seal this door shut to protect the rest of the apartment. Sealing you in so you could burn to death.”

“That wouldn’t have happened,” he stated, recalling Miles attacking him for the same thing. “I was going t’open the door. I knew what I was doing.” 

“You were drunk, on some weird pills and not always rational. I couldn’t gauge for sure just how clear you were thinking. Yes, your head was clear enough to disable the sensors but you also thought you could flush a vase down the loo.”

Ivan flinched. “You saw that.”

“Yeah, hey.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m not saying this to embarrass. Just explaining it from my point of view. My mission was to keep you safe, Lord Vorpatril.”

“You can call me Ivan.”

“I’ll think about it; you may change your mind again.” But she smiled when she said it. “So then we move on to me remotely activating your front door chime hoping you would leave this room and answer it. Come on.”

She left the room and Ivan followed. “Wait here,” she said while she went to the closed balcony doors. “I was watching you from my console on the balcony, I activated the chime, opened the doors and –“

“Wait. How did you get on to my balcony?”

Eve smiled. “I was watching you from the apartment above, I abseiled down.  You alright?”

Ivan’s heart had abseiled down as he thought about it. “Fine. So,” he said putting the image aside – again – of Eve scaling down his building. “I leave the room before setting the fire, and answer the door so your plan worked.”

He stopped, frowned and turned back to her.  “You took your time shooting me. I’d opened my front door before you shot me.”

She sighed. “And thereby hangs the damn tale.  Do you know how much crap you had littering the place? It wasn’t all clean like this.” She gestured to his floor. Ivan was glad his cleaning service had been in yesterday.   “Keeping you safe did not include shooting you unconscious so you landed on something that cut your throat open.”

“Alright,” he said, taken aback by her defensive manner. “Wasn’t criticising. Just wondered.”

She muttered something before saying, “Sorry. It still burns me. It’s where my screw up starts. You opened the front door, I shot you, you fell and that should have been that. But…” She walked to the front door and stood beside him.  “Your door automation was broken. Do you remember?”

“Yeah…”

“So the door didn’t swing shut on its own. I had to come in and close it myself…what?”

Ivan laughed. “So simple. In…in these stupid dreams I’m having a mer – a woman keeps going on how the door is shut. She goes on and on about it. Even more so since I met you. She has your face and voice.  My dreams are all around this damn door.  I remembered it you see. I was sure I opened the front door but when I woke up –“

“It was closed.”

“I put it down to me forgetting – being drunk n’all. Don’t know why that stuck.”

“Because you were right. The door should have been open. You hadn’t shut the door. I did. Couldn’t let anyone come in and see you like this. Wasn’t right. Let’s carry on. Must be something else too –“

“’Cause you spoke to me?”

“Yes. You should lie down on the floor, like you were when I shot you. Come on, don’t pull a face.”

Ivan lay down on his floor, close to the door and Eve sat down next to him.  “I was about to leave,” she said, “but you spoke and – close your eyes.”

“Eve-“

“Lord Vorpatril – you want to resolve this or not?”

He sighed and closed his eyes. 

“You said some things,” Eve said, “you were upset. I should have left but you were talking out loud.”

“You said…everything was going to be alright.”

“Yes, you’re right.”  She sounded upset. “Yeah, funny when people say that to me I want to hit them. But I felt you needed to hear it and for you I believed it. And since I’m being honest. I think part of the reason you remember is I also did this when I spoke.” And she stroked his hair and something lifted from his chest, a weight he hadn’t known had been sitting there.  It all came back to him. It had all been real. She moved her hand away.

“No keep doing that, it’s making me remember – you said I deserve better.”

“Yeah and that I definitely believe.  I’m remembering now too. You said something about me swimming fast. Do you remember that?”

“Mermaid,” he said and opened his eyes. “I thought I was talking to a mermaid.”

She laughed, delighted. “Yeah? That sounds harmless.”

“She was till she kept trying t’drown me in fire in my sleep. Hey – come on, it’s not that bad.”

“That’s awful.” She stood up. “Horrible. No wonder this has been wrecking your sleep.  Don’t lie and say the dreams aren’t nightmares.”

Ivan sighed. “They weren’t at first but they got bad when…”

“When we met and you heard my voice. You’d put it together in your dreams but not quite. So it’s me isn’t it? Drowning you in fire. The tranq, me talking to you, you remembering  - all combined to mess with your head. My fault. God, I hope your nightmares stop. They have to. I’m sorry.”

“Let’s go in the kitchen. Come on. I think we both need a drink.”

He made some coffee but she didn’t want any. Said she only drank coffee when she was working which he thought was odd. She stuck to water.  He wished he had some chocolate cake. She looked surprised and disappointed that he didn’t have any cake. He pulled the chair back and sat on it backwards, folded his arms on the back and watched her.

“I don’t agree that I was in any danger but I can see why you did, even though you’re wrong but…you were kind and you tried to protect m’privacy as much as you could. That goes a long way with me, Eve. So apology accepted for the side-effects.”

The naked gratitude on her face made him uncomfortable.

“I don’t know what to say,” she said.

“Nothing to say,” he said quickly. “Tell me – you did this job because Illyan asked you to?”

“Yeah, and he’s promised never to ask me to do this again. I’m no good at this; I like my missions clear and this was too muddy. This felt wrong but he was so worried. Your mother-“

He cut her off with a noise and a hand wave of dismissal. “Let’s leave m’mother out of this.”

She jerked back and he was about to apologise for the snap in his voice when she said, “Your angry with her. She’s the one you’re – you’re angry at your mother for instigating it?”

No, he wasn’t angry – he was damned furious. “Don’t want to talk about m’mother. Alright?”

“Understood.   Anger is something I do know.  I do two hours of punchbag work every morning and not all of it is to hone my combat skills and body.”

He tried not to let his eyes linger on parts of her body. “Who are you angry at?” he asked.

She didn’t challenge his transparent way of changing the subject; instead she laughed, that soft husky laugh he never got tired of hearing.  She pulled some of her hair to the front of her and began to plait it. 

“If there was a theme it would be the people who have caused damage, not just to me and they don’t learn from it and carry on and on. The people who don’t deserve forgiveness or second chances.”

Ivan was beginning to regret asking but she laughed and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m having a bad week, not your problem and I’m worried about that ensign,” she said. He must have looked confused because she apologised again.

“Bad habit of mine. Switching subjects mid-stream. Mixing metaphors is another bad habit.”

He laughed and she smiled. “The ensign who decorated my lightflyer. I had a short conversation with him and...”

Ivan didn’t want to talk about this ensign but she did and he didn’t want her to leave. “Tell me what happened.”

Eve explained that she told the ensign that she knew; that she had proof. Then explained, because Ivan asked, that her proof was a vid from tech she set up every time she parked her lightflyer.

“The student parking has no security. It’s been broken for months. So I park it where I can fix my own remote vidcam. No one knows about it but me. It’s very small. It’s important to be secure.”

Ivan agreed and was impressed. She looked surprised at that. “I thought you’d think it was a paranoid.”

“Nothing wrong with practical paranoia. Tell me what this ensign said.” Ivan was feeling particularly violent towards this nameless ‘officer.’

Eve frowned. “It was odd. He apologised. Said he did his best to make sure the letters could be removed easily but he said he couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again and if I reported him to his CO he would understand.  He was so…defeatist and angry but not at me. He wasn’t even curious about how I knew. Said there was nothing anyone could do. Something else is going on with him.” 

She looked at him, a pleading look and he knew what was coming.

“You want me to find out?” Ivan asked.

She nodded. “Could you? But please don’t report him to his CO until you talk to him or – I don’t know. I know he’s a junior officer but-“

“Give me his name and I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” Her look of gratitude undid him. “I’ll find out,” he added. “I’ll get to the bottom of it.”

“Thank you. I think I should go now,” she said standing up.

“Let me walk you out.”

As they walked to the door he asked about the witches who’d slandered her. She smiled. “I have a plan. You were right though; it’s already blowing over – at the university. Outside of that I don’t know if it ever will but I’m used to it. I think it hurts the people around me more that I’ll never really belong here.”

 _No, you’re hurt. You’re just never going to admit it._   Ivan was struck how like Miles she was. Hmm. Not a comparison he wanted in his head right then.

“Depends on what you want to belong to,” Ivan said. “We aint all the same, Eve.” 

“I know that.  Ah – you can call me if there’s anything else you need to ask.”

He nodded. Trying to find the words. Feeling like an idiot teen again. What was wrong with him?

“Ivan, do you regret it?” she asked, looking down at the floor. Her hair curtaining her face. “The ball? The kiss? I just need to honestly know.”

Ah here it was. An opening. “Yes,” he said and faced her stricken look as she raised her eyes. “I regret it. That kiss wasn’t even my best. I can do much better than that.”

She puffed out a laugh. “Me too.”

And she was in his arms, her mouth everywhere, tearing at his uniform. Her hands racing down to his waistband.  She was a tornado, whipping his burning blood, shredding his clothes. He nearly lost it while her busy hands explored, while she said his name over and over. Something he couldn’t understand clicked so loud in his blood he could hear it echoing everywhere. He said something about the bedroom.  They never made it to the bedroom. 

He couldn’t move. He had no idea how much time had passed in that whirlwind. Her body was flush against his. He couldn’t open his eyes yet. She still had her boots on.  Only her boots. He could feel them. When he’d caught sight of those dark synthasuede thigh boots against her skin he’d asked her to keep them on. He may have asked. He’d been too busy trying not to lose control. He was trying to remember the last time sex had taken him so far out of himself. His thoughts kept burning up before they completed.

He raised a hand and stroked her glorious hair. He wanted to stay here.  She sighed, her expert hands exploring, igniting everything all over again. She laughed as he reversed their positions and pinned her to the floor.

 “I hurried you,” Eve said, grinning, her skin flushed. “Sorry. And I wrecked your uniform, and we ah broke that table.”

“I’m not sorry you hurried me. Gives us more time now.”

“For what?”

“First…”

He slid down, slowly removing her boots with his hands and followed her reveal of skin with his mouth. She tried to hurry him again, crying out his name and cursing him at the same time.  He pulled her up to her bare feet as they stood, and kissed her until her eyes glazed.

“Not here, Eve. Slow, and I want you in water,” he said.

“You can have me anywhere you like,” she said and she nearly wrenched his arm off as she pulled him by the hand in the direction of the shower.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the last chapter...


	8. The Morning After and After That

He awoke to a coffee scent and a naked woman flush against his skin. Pretty close to his idea of heaven. Eve was humming an odd tune and stroking him. No. It wasn’t Eve humming - it was his wristcom reminding him he had 45minutes to get to work.  He’d been asleep for no more than an hour.

Before he spoke Eve peeled away from him; her hair rippling around her as she knelt on the bed, smiling as her warm hands lingered on his stomach. She looked like she’d been up for ages. Their eyes locked and her smile turned to a grin; she pointed to the bedside table – coffee! After sitting up and drinking half of it he took her hand, kissed it and wished her good morning.

“You didn’t have to make me coffee but thanks.”

“If I had to make it, I wouldn’t have. I heard your wristcom alarm and I remembered you’re not a morning person.”

“How do you know – ah.”

And there it was; who she was and what she’d done. He hadn’t lied, he wasn’t angry at her but - she placed a finger on his lips.

“I know. I figured after we’d got this out of our system this would happen. I had a lot of fun – more than fun,” she corrected and laughed, “magnificent fun.”

“I’d say,” he said earnestly.

“But I’ve been awake longer than you and had more time to think.” She didn’t sound too happy about that. She sighed. “So to be fair about it, it has to come from you.” She was off the bed and rapidly dressing. “After you’ve had your own time to think about this – you can call me but if it’s too weird for you we’ll leave it as is. I’ll understand. No hard feelings and all that.” She reached over and laid her palm against his cheek. “That doesn’t mean you can’t call me with questions if you have any. I won’t attach sex strings to it.”

“Right-oh.”  He placed the coffee back on the bedside table as his wristcom chimed off another reminder.  

“I’ll leave you to it.”

As soon as she turned her back Ivan grabbed her back on to the bed and wrapped his arms tight around her. “So…tonight?”

She laughed. “Ivan,” she pleaded. “I’m trying to be sensible. Don’t you need time to think about everything that’s happened?”

“Thought about it.” He pulled her hair away so he could press his mouth to her neck; enjoyed her responsive sounds and whispered, “Liked it all very much.”

“You know that’s not what I meant…alright. Let’s try it another way.”

“There’s a way we _didn’t_ try?”

She turned and put his face in between her palms. “Stop making me laugh and listen.  I have classes all afternoon and then after I’ve met Bret we’re going –“

“Bret?” _Why hell is she seeing Bret?_

“Yes. I said I’d meet him for a drink and he’s interested in the talk I’m going to – it’s on women writers in the ToI. So do you still want to meet? I should finish around nine.” She frowned. “Are you changing your mind? You look-“

“No! Um…you off to classes now?”

She shook her head. “I’m going home. Going to sleep for about three hours first. Yes, before you ask, I can make my body do that– no meds involved.” She grinned. “Make sure you take a good nap when you come from work too, Ivan.” She pulled away after giving him a long, lingering kiss. “I don’t intend on letting you sleep tonight.”

**Two Weeks Later - Imperial Service HQ - Ops**

Desplains was off site so Ivan had the office to himself.  He kept the door open and wondered how it was it had come to this; diving into trouble with whatever this ensign was involved in. The ensign – Albert Vorgehin – had been on leave but returned to work today.  So now it was time to do something; after all he’d given his word to Evie – that’s what he called her; he smiled. He told her Eve was too short and well she was Evie to him. It would be at least seven hours before he could see her again but he’d call her as soon as –

“What’s her name?” Captain Snyder bellowed as he stalked in, helping himself to coffee.  Snyder always bellowed.  Ivan just about stopped himself from jumping out of his chair.

“Whose name? The coffee pot’s?” Ivan asked. “Lonely are you, Snyder?”

Snyder surveyed him from beneath his bushy pitch black eyebrows, as bushy as his wiry head of hair. “You’ve been like this all week, Vorpatril. Grinning, whistling, skipping – “

Ivan swore at him laughing. “I do not skip.”

“Skipping,” Snyder said firmly, leaning against the wall. “The Escobaran chit finally give you a taste of her galactic wares?”

Ivan sipped his coffee. He and Eve were keeping their relationship a secret and Ivan had no intention on telling anyone and ruining it. “You’re a crude, crude bastard, Snyder.”

Snyder gestured to him with his coffee. “Not the Escobaran then. You’d get all prissy about it if – ah, look who it is. Right on time.”

The lanky, blond ensign entered and saluted stiffly, a pallet in his hands.  The captain’s lazily returned a salute and the ensign stretched out his hand.

“I’m to give this to you, Captain Vorpatril, from Lieutenant Wycherley”

“You can hand it to Captain Snyder,” Ivan said.

So this was the ensign who had vandalised Eve’s flyer. He looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. Dark circles under his eyes, pale pallor and his hands had shaken when he’d handed over the pallet. Drugs or stress, Ivan wondered – or both.

“Relax ensign,” Snyder said taking the pallet and giving the ensign one of his wide, wolfish grins; he towered over him with his six foot five, wide, stocky bulk.  “Close the door and rake a seat.”

Ivan stayed seated at his desk; Snyder leaning against the wall and the ensign sat at the edge of the chair in between the captains. Snyder unsealed the pallet; pulled out a flimsy, shook his head at it dramatically and handed it to Ivan. Ivan perused the list of dirty jokes he’d heard before, looked at the ensign, exchanged a serious look with Snyder and then stuck the flimsy into his desk incinerator. 

“So, Vorgehin, I suppose you know the reason you’re here?” Ivan asked.

He hesitated then asked. “Is this another test, sir?”

“Test?” Snyder barked a laugh. “You’re not at the academy now, ensign.”

 The ensign blushed to the roots of his hair.

“Test?” Ivan prompted.

Vorgehin looked more ill if that was impossible. “I don’t know why I said that. Is this about the lightflyer?”

So it wasn’t going to take much to break him after all.

“Yes,” Ivan replied. “Mademoiselle Sorrentti is of the opinion you deserve a second chance only she doesn’t know what we know.”

“That your CO is a very close friend of your family,” Snyder said, “so it doesn’t matter if you tell him of your conduct. He’ll protect you.”

“I never asked for special favours,” Vorgehin muttered, and added, “sir.”

“But you’ll get them anyway,” Snyder said sourly.  “Not that you’d tell your CO the full truth so you may as well tell us why you did it.  One of us may be in a position to help you.”

Vorgehin looked suspicious. “Why would you, sir?”

“Because saving ensigns from themselves has been given to me as a punishment,” Synder said drily. “Call it an unofficial liaison position that everyone knows about and no one wants, so I have to help you and I will,” the last part was said sincerely.

Vorgehin looked at them both, hopeful and then rapidly mortified. He shook his head. “I don’t have anything to say, sir.”

“That’s a shame,” Snyder said pulling up a chair opposite the ensign and easing his hefty bulk into it, “because you’ve been here long enough for which ever officer you’re protecting to think you’ve told us already.”

Vorgehin’s eyes almost comically popped out of his head and he stared at the closed door _– ah! So there is someone else involved_ ; Ivan and Snyder exchanged a look pretending they knew more than they did.

“That’s right and Lieutenant Wycherley,” Synder continued, “who you picked this pallet up from, shares an office with Captain Loffroy –“

“– biggest gossip in Ops,” Ivan finished.

“Can’t keep his trap shut,” Snyder said. “He’ll be wondering – out loud –what you’re doing here.”

“But I didn’t tell you; I didn’t.  I don’t know…it doesn’t make any sense. No one can help.”

“For God’s sake,” Snyder snapped, “stop being so fucking melodramatic. The amount of times I’ve heard you whiny kids say that – it’s never as bad as you think.  Let us help you deal with it or leave this office now.” He leaned forward and asked, “Just who are you afraid of?”

**

**Maurice’s**

Eve had timed it beautifully. Maurice’s had made Eve’s tiara and they were currently designing another one for another dress. She didn’t want it to be a thing that was identified as her – the girl with the tiara – but she’d made this appointment specifically because she knew who else would be there: Karolina Vordester and her friends.  Besides, she looked great in that tiara.

Because of the private salons in Maurice’s it was never crowded. There was a reception area in a burnt red and cream – the entire place was decorated in shades of those colours – with plush couches and a servitor always drifting in and out with wine or water.  There were minimal pastry type snacks though. Apparently not the done thing to offer dessert type snacks which Eve couldn’t understand but she went with it.

“What about this version?” Maurice asked her showing her the creation of silver and blue on the console.

“No, not quite.”

Eve was seated next to Maurice on the sofa in the crimson and cream salon; she sipped her wine, wondering if it was a special year that Ivan would recognise. Ivan; a constant pulse beat humming her skin and that she wasn’t sure what to do about.  The sensible part of her telling her all the reasons to rein it in; the rest of her aching to breathe him in any chance she got.

But the last couple of days those chances had been too few and she was beginning to wonder – no; not the time nor place for this.   She turned her thoughts back to where she was – Maurice’s. Not in Ivan’s arms.

Maurice made no indication he’d heard any of the gossip surrounding Eve and the fact he hadn’t cancelled her appointment and saw her personally Eve took as a good sign – Laisa would be happy Eve’s selective pariah status hadn’t reached that height. Maurice was as noted as Estelle’s. 

Maurice himself had a nice quiet manner about him – not broody quiet like Bret – but steady quiet. But she always felt a little untidy next to him. She was in her usual long jacket and floaty dress (blue and green today) and he was in his tight fitting signature black trousers and tunic, with a small red flower on his breast; clothes that looked like they’d been moulded to him. With his long fingers he patiently pressed the console to the next design and Eve oohed.

“That’s it; that’s perfect. This is the kind of tiara I want.”

“That is a _circlet,_ Mademoiselle,” he said patiently. He superimposed it on the picture of her and he nodded. “Yes and it will assist in controlling your hair.”

“You love my hair really don’t you, Maurice.”

“No, Mademoiselle but I have learned how to work with it.”

She laughed and squeezed his arm and he made a small noise and patted out the sleeve as if she’d wrinkled it.

“Well, I’ve kept you long enough. Thanks again for your patience, Maurice and for still seeing me personally.”

He raised an already arched thin eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“May I play before you go?”

“I always look forward to it.”

In the reception area was a white piano which was a decoration piece until Eve tuned it.  The area was empty but Eve played something tranquil so as not to disturb the clientele who’d be able to hear it in the other salons. Maurice stayed for a short while before disappearing.  It was while she was playing that Karolina Vordester, Sarah and that other girl walked in - Eve had found out since that she was called Ida.

They exchanged looks and Eve ended the piece, not at all faithfully but as smoothly as she could so it wouldn’t jar too much to those listening. She stood and said,

“May I have a private word with you all, it won’t take long?” She didn’t wait for an answer as she walked around the piano and planted herself in front of the elegantly attired women. Ida looked scared; Eve hadn’t missed the warning look Sarah and Karolina had given Ida before they’d turned to Eve.

“Oh, have we been introduced?” Karolina said with a sniff. “I don’t think I know you.”

“I don’t particularly care,” Eve said taking a disk out from her pocket and walking close enough to invade Karolina’s personal space. “I have on here proof of you making those article copies. Yes, it’s amazing what information you can find out just by asking. I’m baffled why you used your own key card though, Sarah. I also have proof that you posted the message, Karolina, using your old university credentials which hadn’t been removed.  Please be assured that that’s now been taken care of; I asked the techs to look into it.”

They had all gone a wonderful shade of deathly pale but Karolina laughed shakily.

“What we did wasn’t illegal,” Karolina said. “The university can’t do anything to Sarah and Ida for informing people of the kind of person you are.”

Eve smiled.   “You’re right. But what this disk shows is how utterly vile, vindictive and lacking in honour you all are. Please be assured if you do anything like this I will tell your families.  They may not care that you slandered me with an article you knew to be lies, but I’m sure they’ll be appalled that you were caught so easily and that they’re related to three women who are so lacking in any kind of grace.”

Karolina’s face suddenly shaded to the colour of a furious tomato. “How dare you speak to me like that – _grace! Honour!”_ Karolina roared while Sarah glared at Ida for taking a step back. “You think you can hide behind your Komarran empress,” she spat, “that that will give you acceptance here? It doesn’t work that way in VS. I won’t -“

Eve was laughing. “Good God. Do you think I care about being accepted by people like you? It’s a privilege not to be. Goodbye.”

And with that she left Maurice’s but directed a look at Ada before she did. Eve took her time walking out and waited at her lightflyer when she heard someone call her name. Eve smiled. Ida was running after her in tears, hiccupping tears as she spoke.

“Please don’t tell my mama. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. They asked me to find out about you –“

“Take a breath would you? I’ll listen to you but calm down.”

Ida explained through sniffles and while casting terrified looks over her shoulder that Karolina had asked her to research Eve, and she’d found that infamous article as well as the retractions but having no idea Karolina would do what she did with the slanderous piece. Eve patiently listened while Ida tripping over words said she was trying to remove herself from them but her mother was so proud she had such connected friends.

“Just tell me this, Ida. Why me? Is it just because her aunt, Madam Vorkouskoff, hates me?”

She sniffed. “No, Karolina’s aunt hates lots of people and so does Karolina. They don’t think anyone is good enough but it’s because you weren’t snubbed by the Vorkosigans and Karolina’s aunt said she was and she says your – um.  I don’t want to offend you but you see –  you’re not their family’s sort.”

Eve snorted a laugh. “I figured. Because of my lack of Vor?”

Ida shook her head. “Even if you were Vor it would have to be the right kind. I wondered why she befriended me; my family are Vor but not like theirs. I think she’s done it to just to use me.”

“Well don’t let her.  I tell you something, Ida. I believe everyone deserves a second chance.  I know you say you did the legwork but you weren’t responsible for sending those communications but I can bet they put pressure on you to do it.”

She nodded with a watery smile. “I refused. I thought they’d cut me off or do something to me but they haven’t yet. Karolina’s very revengeful you see. If she feels her or her family have been slighted she can be so vicious.” She gave Eve a pitying look. “She won’t rest until she feels she’s…”

“Put me in my place? I’m not scared of her.  But you stood up for yourself, Ida. Shows you’ve got spine and if you remove yourselves from those poisonous women you may be surprised at what other better connections you make.  I don’t forgive you yet, Ida, but I’m willing to give you that second chance.”

Ida’s smoky grey eyes widened and she dropped her voice. “I can tell you something now.  I wanted to warn you. That’s the other reason I came out.  Karolina said she’s going to see her boyfriend tonight; she plans to do something else to you.  He’s the one who got someone to do that…to your lightflyer. So please be careful.”

“ _Got_ someone to do it? Do you know who?”

“No I’m sorry I don’t. I only know that it’s,” and she blushed, “Lieutenant Vorbright who arranged it but he didn’t do it himself. I’ve heard Karolina talking to him you see. They argue a lot. They say some quite rude things. He didn’t want to do it but Karolina said she has a way of persuading Lieutenant Vorbright to do anything she wants.”

_And she’s seeing him tonight. Time to break out the surveillance gear._

 

 

 

 


	9. Friends and Family

Laisa wasn’t available for Eve to spill the latest about Karolina so as usual she ended up leaving Laisa a message. “Call soon, L. Anytime. I have juicy gossip.” That should do it.

But Tatya was about so Eve asked her about Ida, if there was anything they could do or whether she advised against it. 

“You’re asking my advice, Eve?”

“Of course.  You’re far more of an expert on VS society than I am and I don’t want any good intentions I have to backfire on Ida or me, but if you don’t want to get involved that’s alright.”

“Oh no it’s not that. It’s just you seem to be able handle anything.”

Eve laughed. “I’m flattered you think so.  Perhaps it’s because when I’m stuck I’m willing to listen and take advice from people when I need it. So are you willing to put your mind to it? I do think she’s sincere but I’m still not sure how scared she is of Karolina.”

“Leave it with me,” Tatya said beaming. “I have some ideas. I can tell you when you come over for the music club tomorrow. You are still coming aren’t you?”

“I’ll try my best to.”

Tatya nodded, her black ringlets bobbing up and down. Tatya had gotten used to Eve’s lack of commitment – at least Eve _hoped_ she had. It was a habit of Eve’s due to her agent work and even though she was on a hiatus she couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t get called in. So she’d told Tatya the same thing she’d told all her friends: that sometimes she needed to get away from things and she’d go on a retreat and that it was usually sudden.  Because of Eve’s Betan Ten past no one questioned her on it and Eve never elaborated. It wasn’t a complete lie either.

“Bret will be there too,” Tatya said after a pause.

“He’s joining your music club? I thought he was going back to the district.”

“He was but he’s decided to stay...” And then she grinned. “Especially after I told him you may be there.”

 _Not this again._ “Tatya, let me blunt so there’s no misunderstanding. Bret and I have no romantic interest in each other at all.”

Tatya’s face fell. “Oh…are you sure?”

 “Quite sure.”

“So he’s not your secret – um.” Tatya flushed. “Nothing.”

“My secret what? Tatya –“ Eve groaned. “Laisa right? God, she’s got a big mouth! Wait till I see her!”

Eve wouldn’t have told Laisa she was seeing someone if Laisa hadn’t of interrogated her so effectively. Damn her! Tatya was shaking her head rapidly, her ringlets flying everywhere. “Oh please don’t be mad at the empress. I said I wouldn’t say anything. I was only speculating a little about you and Bret and she said you have someone but not who and I thought maybe –“

“No. Not Bret,” she said firmly but added. “But I like his friendship even when he’s being a negative, moody ass.”

Tatya sighed. “All the Vorbrettens are like that, especially the men, they tend to…dwell on things. It’s not clinical,” she said defensively.

“What a shame – there are very effective treatments,” Eve said and Tatya laughed but then bit her lip.

“You’re not angry are you?”

“At you and L for gossiping about me? No. I suppose not.” And she smiled. “But I’m not going to tell you who my lover is. It’s too early and too complicated at the moment. I need to hide it better,” she added thoughtfully.

Tatya laughed. “Eve…you’re glowing like the Winterfair fireworks.”

“I am? God, I need to stop that.”

After the call ended Eve stuck to her timetable of work and wrote up her set of notes from her latest interview with Ma Kosti and submitted her paper on the Kyril Island poets. 

Then she looked up Vorbright’s basic information on her comconsole, yep Imperial Service.  She looked up Vorbright’s address via a more secure database and whistled.  Expensive – must be getting money from his family and expensive meant – yes, he had a balcony.  That made it easier, but she’d wait. Maybe Ivan would have more information; he said he’d be talking to the ensign today. 

Eve walked the length of her mostly empty wood floor, from the two pianos to the black sofa suite she hated _(really must replace that blasted thing)_ and veered out to her balcony which ran the long length of the perimeter. She looked out at the view of Vorbarr Sultana and let the winds whip her hair and catch her breath now one thing on her mind.

She hadn’t seen Ivan since this morning and that had been very brief as he’d got in late from accompanying Isabella – this time accompanying her parents as well – to a dinner party at Vorrutyer House. 

Ivan had explained more about what his escort duties entailed so she’d understand it was work to him; he’d been very defensive after she’d not hidden her disappointment at his cancelling their plans again. She hadn’t said a word but with him she seemed to be quite transparent (which was worrying it itself.)

Ivan’s duties involved making sure Isabella was kept safe of course; that she was introduced to the appropriate people and warned about the less desirable ones – Ivan treading a fine line so if Isabella reproduced his words it could not be taken as an insult or lead to a diplomatic incident.

Then there was the other side – reporting back on relationships Isabella formed and anything she said that could impinge or be of advantage to Barrayar’s interests.  Eve accused him of being more of an operative than she was and that she was surprised ImpSec hadn’t tried to poach him. Judging by the way Ivan had pulled that face and kissed her senseless Eve figured they had tried or Ivan just wanted to change the subject. She liked his way of changing the subject. Sometimes.

She didn’t like that they were keeping it a secret – their…and here she faltered.

What was it that was between them? Why was she finding it hard to categorise their relationship – such as it was. They weren’t really dating. They never went anywhere together. They had picnics in his flat not outside.  It had also ceased to be just about sex – that kind of gig she could handle fine. But this…this was something she couldn’t define.  It had been two weeks but it felt like longer and also shorter.  Did he feel that way?

His call came in on the comconsole and she smiled instantly. “You’re home.”

Ivan grinned. “It’s so good to see you. Good day?”

He was transparent too. He hadn’t asked to come over. They were usually his first words.

“Your cancelling again, aren’t you?” Before he was about to launch into an explanation she held up a hand. “Not necessary. I heard it yesterday.”

He flinched. “Evie –“

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to sound so – never mind. Not your fault I know.  You have your duties. What happened with the ensign?”

“He wouldn’t talk. Going to give him some time to stew. He’s scared of something and I can tell he wants to talk but we’ll have to wait.” He ran a hand through his hair and then checked his wristcom. “I only have an hour before –“

“I have a lead,” she said sharply.

  _God damn you. An hour? Just an hour?_

She took another breath and told him what Ida had said and Eve’s own plan to eavesdrop in case he said anything incriminating; Ivan didn’t like it one bit.

“This is Imperial Service business,” he said.

God she loved the way he spoke, especially when he got all proper with that High Vor killer accent. Most distracting.  She could listen to him all day. _Eve, Eve, what’s happening to you? What’s he doing to you?_ She hoped by now she had mastered the art of not letting anyone or anything take her over, but with Ivan she was coming close to something that felt too much like surrender.  Perhaps because there was a part of her, a trusting part, that was sure he wouldn’t take advantage. _Why do you trust him?_ She left that question unanswered.

“It’s my business too,” she said abruptly.  “I don’t want to get blindsided by that witch again. Don’t look so worried. I know what I’m doing.  I’ve done jobs like this before.  I’m going to do it by the book. I’ll log it and I’ll just do a preliminary scout. But this smells of blackmail to me.  I’m sure Vorbright must have something on our ensign and this may be the way to find out. This is an opportunity we can’t afford to pass up.”

Ivan had this odd look on his face and he muttered something. “You’ll log it?”

“Yes, if it comes to nothing it gets closed. Look, I know what time Karolina’s going to be there – it’s not for a few hours so I now have more time than I thought to prep.” 

“You could come and over and –“

“No there’s no time,” she said, appalled at how close she was to saying yes. “I should let you get ready. I’ll speak to you later-”

“Don’t cut me off, Evie. I’m sorry alright. I’m sorry.  Just don’t go. You have time to talk, right? Please? Don’t go.”

What could she do when faced with that look and those words; she tried not to smile.

“You could tell me about your day,” Ivan continued, and peered over her shoulder “and show me around your fancy flat since I’ve not passed your security clearance to see it in person.”

Eve felt a wash of guilt. “Next time we meet you can come by,” she said. “I’m just not used to visitors.”

“Visitors? I’m your boyfriend,” he said indignantly.

_Not used to them either._

”Really? You see me as your girlfriend?”

“Yes,” he said firmly. “And even though we’re keeping this a secret you can tell Bret if you like, as long he keeps it quiet,” he said and cleared his throat. “Since you’ve become friends. Don’t mind you telling him we’re together. Don’t mind at all.”

 

**Lady Alys’s Residence**

Ivan as requested went to join Simon and his mother for a drink at her flat, before they went to the art exhibition’s pre-show opening. He’d been avoiding her but this time he didn’t have an excuse since Simon didn’t want to attend the show; so it was his duty to escort his mother and Isabella.

Simon was reading, or pretending to read the VS Gazette at the table; Ivan was surprised Mamere allowed it – she’d never let him read at the table; even if it was in the informal dining area. Eve was always reading – everywhere. He’d wake up to her reading or writing in bed or singing into his skin or – was she alright? He pictured her scaling buildings and tried to ignore that sinking feeling; choosing to remember instead their conversation.

It had been the best hour of his day talking to her; her showing him around her stunning but sparse penthouse with her remote cam. He’d given her ideas on where to find the best items in VS to furnish her place and she’d sounded genuinely grateful. He’d been taken aback by the discovery she had a swimming pool up there _and_ a hot tub that she never used. He was looking forward to showing her that a hot tub was as entertaining as a sensa shower.  _Evie. Be safe._ _She won’t get caught. She’s good. I know how good she is. Vorbright won’t see her. She’ll be fine._

“Ivan?”

Expectant eyes stared at him and rather than admit he wasn’t listening he said a short, “Yes.”

“Everything going well with Desplains?” Simon asked putting the gazette aside.  It struck him suddenly that his mother and Simon were wearing matching colours of greys and blues. Simon was certainly dressing better since he and his mother…no, he still couldn’t quite get it cemented in his head that they were a…couple.

“Yes, sir.”

“The Admiral and his wife will be attending the exhibition too,” Mamere stated.

 _I know, I arranged it._ Ivan simply nodded.

“I don’t think the admiral and Selina have met Isabella, have they?” she continued.

Ivan didn’t reply and then she saw the look pass between Simon and Mamere. She cleared her throat. _Oh-oh_.

“There’s no easy way to tell you this, Ivan so I will be blunt. There will be an announcement in tomorrow’s gazette. Martya,” she said, her nose twitching, as if she’d smelled something disagreeable, “is engaged. The ceremony is next weekend.”

He caught himself twisting the heavy napkin and dropped it back on the table. “Is she marrying… _him_?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Why of course?” Ivan asked his mother. “Don’t you think she’s capable of finding someone else in less than a year?”

“Ivan –“

“I’m fine, Mamere.”

It’s not as if he wanted her back. Martya was a mistake. And a reminder, a constant reminder that it was his mistake too; oh he’d not been unfaithful; he hadn’t betrayed her but he’d betrayed himself. That’s what Uncle Aral had said and he’d been right.  Ivan had gone through with the wedding without listening to his own damn wants and doubts; he’d lost himself somewhere, blindly trusting her that it would be fine because she was Martya Koudelka; his once trusted friend.

_Gah!_

Ivan glanced at the file by his mother’s plate. “What’s that?” he asked wanting to pull out of this memory mire. Also it wasn’t like his mother to have work at the table. She glanced at the file with a furrowed brow. 

“Paperwork. It concerns your father’s plaque.  I need to give permission for its removal while they do maintenance in that area, and also…renew and re-sign the annual memorial responsibilities.”

“Re-sign?” Ivan asked and regretted it when that heavy silence descended. Why did he ask?

“I asked for these to be drawn up to pass it over to you. When you married I intended for you to take over or do what you wanted but there never seemed the right time to pass it over and then...”

It hung there in the silence. His divorce. Looks like Martya was still in the room.

“It was going to be a relief, Ivan, to let it go,” she continued and let out a windy sigh. Simon reached over and squeezed her hand.

“A relief not to do the remembrance ceremony?” Ivan asked.

“Did I say relief?” She frowned. “Yes, I did. I suppose I’m tired of the memory. It’s a funny thing. Thinking you have moved forward and realising you’re just reliving and recharging your past. These,” she said, tapping the file, “have reminded me again of it all. That day, your birthday. But I suppose we’ll carry on as we’ve done before.”

“I don’t see what the big deal it is,” Ivan said shortly, “if you don’t want to do it, don’t. Don’t use my divorce as a reason to do something you don’t want to do. I certainly don’t care. No one’s making you do it, Mamere, and it’s not as if m’father’s going to object.”

“Ivan,” Simon said a warning in his tone.

“How can you be so cold about it, Ivan?  Not a ‘big deal’ but then I’ve never told you _all_ the details of that night, the horror, the burning, your father’s cowardice.”

And then to Ivan’s horror she started to detail it. Father leaving her alone as she was in labour. Him coming back, bringing death with him, the smell of burning hair and flesh; the hard concrete floor when she gave birth and how the memorial burning of hair always brought the memory stench back. But Ivan heard something else too, something which hadn’t clicked until now.

“All these years,” he said, “I thought you were angry at Vordarian for doing this to our family but you’re not. You’re angry at m’father because he tried to get help?”

“He was a coward who couldn’t face his wife giving birth. He got himself killed and nearly us too.”

“He’s the one who died. I would’ve done the same thing,” he said, not knowing where this was coming from but having this sudden urge to defend the man he never knew. “I would’ve tried to get my wife help too.”

“Don’t you dare presume to put yourself in my place.  You have no idea what it was like for me and – I’m not discussing this topic any further.”  She took a breath.  “You’re too young to understand. So…Isabella told me she’d been looking forward to seeing this exhibition.  Such a lovely woman.  It was very noble of her to invite Eve to their ball considering the way Eve spoke to her at the square. Don’t you think?”

Ivan stared at her.  This was his mother all over! Why should he be surprised that she could pretend this conversation they had seconds ago had never happened. He would normally follow her lead when she was like this. Smooth it over. Normally.

“Isabella was impressed with the way Evie put her case; so was I,” Ivan said, ignoring the pleading look on Simon’s face. “I don’t know why you don’t like her, Mamere. I don’t hold anything against her.”  _Except my body any chance I can get. God I could do with her right now._

Simon began to rub his temples

“After what she did?” she asked incredulous, a stray lock of hair coming out of her immaculate bun.

“ _You_ hired her,” Ivan said with a bite in his tone.

She waved a hand to dismiss this. “Not that. She called the Vorkosigans, Ivan. Did she tell you that? She was supposed to call me that night.”

“Everything worked out.”

“Worked out?” she repeated, “Worked out? Allowing you to humiliate yourself in public like that? Do you think if I-“

“Humiliate?” he asked. It dawned on him in a flash. “You mean _you_ were humiliated.  I’m not ashamed of it, Mamere. I’m glad Evie called the Vorkosigans. You would’ve never assisted me.”

“I certainly wouldn’t have! I’m not saying you had no right to react, Ivan but surely you see how making such a public spectacle – “

“I’m not discussing this topic any further,” he said throwing her words back at her and over her gasp he stood up and immediately contradicted himself.  “I see now. You think I should feel ashamed; you’re disappointed by the way I -” He looked at the file - “disappointed like you are with him.”  He picked up the file. “Fine. I’m taking this since you don’t want to do it.  I’ll deal with the plaque. Might even get rid of it. You’re off the hook.  We better go. Isabella’s waiting and you needn’t think anything’s going to come off between me and Isabella. I have a girl - Evie; we’re together - have been for weeks. I -” God, was he really going to say that word? A weight took his breath as Martya’s face loomed. He shook his head and took a sharp breath. “So, shall we go?”

 

 


	10. Meeting Blue

It wasn’t raining thank God and Eve had a small space above the balcony doors to perch and conceal herself. She could have done without the twin moons lighting up the sky but there was no one to see her up here but nocturnal bird life. 

She’d planted her almost invisible miniature vidcams on the windows so she could view the target on her hand console. The apartment was tastefully decorated in black and white – everything matched but it looked surprisingly comfy. Eve was suspicious of too much coordination – _ah here we go_. 

Karolina arrived in a fury, cursing Eve’s name, throwing her coat on the sofa in dramatic fashion and demanding Vorbright do something worse to Eve; his retort was that he should never have got involved in her stupid games in the first place. 

_I quite agree._

He asked Karolina to leave but she wouldn’t take no for an answer; they argued; verbally abused each other; she slapped him and then they violently kissed.

Ah that kind of couple.  Ivan could be deliciously aggressive; he could match her so well but sometimes Eve liked him to  – no. _No_. No time for this.  She pushed Ivan into a box in her head and slammed on the lid. _Later, sweetie, later._

Thankfully Karolina and Vorbright took themselves off into the bedroom; the door closing behind their grunts.  It was too good an opportunity to pass up. 

Eve entered the apartment via the balcony; amused at the names Vorbright and Karolina screamed at each other as they went at it; items crashed and fell; well, at least Eve would hear when they were done. She wasn’t intending to enter the apartment but she’d seen something and it made sense to do something about it. 

Vorbright had a lockbox he’d taken out three times and put back three times before Karolina had arrived. Yeah, he was nervous about something.  He had it ‘hidden’ under a floorboard. Eve had already looked up the make of the lockbox on her console and entered the manufacturer’s back door default codes. The box opened. Four disks – nothing else.  Eve took them all out, replaced them with four blank disks she’d purchased from the stationers down the street, and went back to her perch above the door.  She rapidly scanned the disks and a cold washed down her spine.  She slipped the disks into her pouch; jumped down, went back into the apartment and planted a bug and ghost program on the comconsole, and heard the warning signal in her ear; someone was coming closer to the door; she swooped back up to her perch and heard Vorbright’s door open.

_He doesn’t have a roommate._

A man bearing the haircut and bearing of an officer but dressed in a navy suit walked in; he turned the lights off and her console went dark. Eve changed the setting so she could see.  He opened the bedroom door but stayed out of sight and shouted,

“Vorbright get her the fuck out of here. We need to talk. I’ll wait in the bathroom. You have five seconds.”

He disappeared in the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Eve had already scanned his face and fed it into the Service databases.  Match. Yes, that was Vorbright’s visitor - Commodore Green, Domestic Affairs – ImpSec. _Holy shit on a cracker._ Eve hoped she’d stumbled into Green’s covert mission because the alternative – no. _I hate those. Don’t let it be one of those._

Vorbright managed to get a half undressed, hysterical Karolina out of there, hitting the lights as she stumbled, refusing to tell her who that was and telling her not to ask him _so many damn questions_. 

Eve waited to see how much more information she could gather before she would have to contact Allegre.  Green himself was a distracting presence; his most noticeable feature was his bald head; he was of middle height, looked to be about middle aged and was startlingly handsome; chiselled jaw, and large, dark green eyes. _Please don’t be a corrupt, dirty, rotten bastard._

Green raised his hand before Vorbright spoke. He took something out of his pocket; he scanned the room and didn’t find her bug.

“I return and what do I find?” Green said, shoving the underwear clad (non-regulation red) Vorbright hard onto the sofa. “Fucking Service HQ officers questioning the ensign. All because you wanted to impress your girlfriend?  Are you fucking stupid?”

Vorbright’s long, thin face fell. “How do you know he-“

“Because _I_ just talked to him you pathetic idiot.  You couldn’t blackmail him before with that sex vid what made you think you could succeed this time?”

“I did succeed! He did as I asked.”

“Oh you think so? Just because you got him to vandalise that lightflyer?  You think you have power over him?  That boy is wrestling with his service conscience again; the same conscience that didn’t fall for your other blackmail attempt. Did you learn nothing?” Green moved closer and loomed over him. “You’d be in prison or dead by now if I hadn’t told him that first inept blackmail was a test. A test I told him he passed with flying fucking service colours because he was going to report you. You’re damned lucky I got to him first. You owe me your life twice over.  Did you forget he thinks he’s working undercover with us? How else do you think _I_ got him to keep looking the other way?  Unlike you, he’s not a fucking moron!”

Vorbright opened and closed his mouth like a fish, and went a greyish colour.

“Now you’ve finally realised,” Green spat.   “As usual too fucking late. The only reason he allowed you to blackmail him this time was because he’s confused.  He’s wondering right now if you’re really working undercover or if he should’ve reported you in the first place.”

Vorbright sat up and swore. “Well did you – did you convince him?”

He cowered at the look Green gave him as he paused before he spoke.

“For now. I told him your woman has control of your prick; that you were bluffing and that the blackmail vid still doesn’t exist and the undercover work is causing you stress.  But very soon he’s going to want to talk to someone and it’ll be all over.   But you’re not going to let that happen.”

Green’s sudden calm made Eve, and by the looks of it Vorbright, more nervous.  “He’s going to take all the blame for those purchase orders,” Green said. “You’re going to see the boy tonight. You’re going to apologise for making him vandalise that lightflyer, tell him there’s no vid, and then you’ll tell him to access this, that it will explain everything,” – he tossed a disk in Vorbright’s lap. “It’ll look like corrupt data when he views it so act surprised, but it’ll plant enough on his comconsole to land him in it. Tell him we’ve caught who we’ve wanted. Make up any crap you want because for him it will be the last thing he does for the service. Then you incinerate that disk and get the fuck out. By the time the powers that be figure it out we’ll be long gone.”

Vorbright’s eyes widened. “Now? We’re leaving tonight?”

“It’s now or never thanks to you. These are your new credentials, details of the account with your share, not that you deserve it.” He tossed a packet into his lap. “I don’t care what you do but I’m gone.”

Eve was still trying to figure it out when she went to find some help.

*  

Isabella was having an involved conversation with the Vervani artist responsible for tonight’s show, so Ivan quietly backed away; he kept them in his eye line but discretely. He tried to pace his wine but he was having problems.

The art exhibition wasn’t to Ivan’s taste but Ivan was used to winging it with these people so he’d dropped enough BS and artist names for them to stop thinking they could embarrass him. He’d been dragged to galleries by his mother since he was born. She’d even test him on what he’d seen. 

Mamere hadn’t joined him, and Simon had urged him to apologise before he left. Ivan had refused but now he felt…no, why should he apologise. She should apologise. Ivan gulped down his wine cringing himself at how peevish he sounded. God, he’d told her about Evie – what was he thinking?

He grabbed another wine of the tray but his wristcom stalled him from drinking it.  It was marked urgent, private and coded; he keyed in his clearance code, pressed in an earbud. He was surprised that it was a breathless Evie at the other end. 

“Oh thank God. I’m outside. I need to talk to you urgently – about where I went tonight. I need your help.”  

“Right oh. Ah I have to deal with Isabella.”

“Do it fast. You may not recognise me but remember cinnamon.”

That was an odd thing to say but she’d cut the call. So he placed Isabella in the safe hands of Duv and Delia and rushed outside where he was approached by woman clad in black.

“Cinnamon,” she whispered and Ivan gawped. Short brown hair in a sleek swing to her chin, dark eyes, flatter chest and a little taller. No. Just no. This was not his Evie. “Call me Blue, don’t know who’s listening. Let’s go to your car and talk there.”

And where was that husky lilt of hers? “I don’t –“

“I’m using a voice changer. The first night we had sex you took my boots off with your mouth.”

Alright it _was_ her and then she smiled and yes, God yes, but this was so _confusing_. They rushed to his groundcar and she gave him directions of where to drive.

“I need you to go to Allegre and give him these,” she put the disks in his pockets and she quickly summarised what had happened and told him not to hold back his fury because she hadn’t. Ivan let out a few choice expletives and as usual it amused her when he apologised after. Yes, it was definitely her.

“I found how they were initially blackmailing Ensign Vorgehin. On the disk is a vid of Vorbright actually setting it up although I’m sure he didn’t show our ensign that part.”

Evie described how in the vid a drugged Ensign Vorgehin, probably at a party, was put on a bed, stripped of his clothes and two naked men got on there to perform sexual acts. Eve was incredulous at Vorbright’s arrogance more than anything.  “He really never thought he’d get caught; Vorbright’s actually on the vid, directing the men what to do and he never got rid of the vid evidence.”

“Vorbright not very bright then?”

Eve let him have that one because she said it was too surreal not to tell bad jokes. But Ivan was sickened; they’d had a case like this before but the ensign had tried to kill himself.

“Vorbright was packing badly when I left. You would’ve thought he’d have a go-bag.” She sounded disgusted at Vorbright’s lack of planning.  Did Evie have a go-bag?  Ivan bet she did.

“Green is leaving tonight and he’ll be using an alias – I am not staffed for any of this. But I can’t call it in to anyone but Allegre. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Who knew how deep this went? Ivan felt ill. “So Green was investigating the transactions, traced it to Vorbright and then went in with him.”

“I think so. My guess is our ensign saw something dodgy, stupidly talked to Vorbright about it – he set the ensign up for blackmail before he could say anything. But our ensign wasn’t going for it. So Green got to him and made up some cock and bull story about how it was an undercover operation and the blackmail was to test his loyalty and since he passed they could recruit him. Probably told him not to tell anyone, not even his CO, as it was an internal investigation. And he believed it because who would want to believe the alternative?”

Ivan nodded. “Green must have been convincing.”

“Yeah.” She sighed.  “I’m not good with numbers, Ivan. I don’t understand most of the stuff on those disks but I know they’re fleecing the service somehow.”

“Fast penta will resolve all this.”

“They’re all allergic. But Vorbright was paranoid and arrogant enough to record some of their activities on those disks.  He was going to bring Green down with him if he double crossed him. But Green – it doesn’t make sense.”

“Which bit?”

“Not the scam - Green’s contempt. You should’ve heard him, Ivan.  Something doesn’t fit about him helping Vorbright.  The disk he wants to give to the ensign bothers me too – it’s too easy. There’s no way he can plant enough evidence on the ensign’s console to clear Vorbright and Green when this is investigated. Let me out at that corner.”

Ivan swerved his car into a tight space and smiled at her impressed exclamation.

“Where are you going?” he asked as she pulled a black hat over her head.

“I have to get to the ensign before Vorbright does.  I need to ask him a few questions. I don’t usually do this; I’m usually a ghost, but I’ve got no choice.”

“But Vorbright-“

“I disabled his lightflyer so he’ll be delayed.” She checked her wristcom. “He’s not left yet – I’ve tapped into his exit gates; he has to swipe out so I’ll know when he leaves.” She squeezed Ivan’s hands. “Go to Allegre. He’ll know what to do.”

“Be careful I – be careful,” he said feebly.

She laid a hand against his cheek, said nothing and then Blue was gone. Who was also Evie.

**

Ivan sped to Allegre’s small house not looking forward to interrupting the general in his home with this twisted tale of corruption.  Ivan was also now bothered about the disk Vorbright was taking to the ensign. It _was_ too neat. Planting it all on the ensign that easily?  What about the records at HQ or ImpSec? It reminded him of something he couldn’t quite tease out of his mind. 

He entered Allegre’s cosy house, when the guard let him by and something in his head was itching closer. He explained it all to Allegre who was scanning the disks, making calls and barking orders with a bloodless face.  It was odd seeing him do that in his plush bottle green dressing gown and not in his undress greens – Green –

“The Nolan Affair,” Ivan whispered, recalling the infamous case of the serial bomber Boris Nolan. He had got people to blow themselves up by sending them a disk, which when slotted into their personal comconsole completed a circuit of a bomb he’d planted. Allegre looked up sharply as Ivan recalled who’d worked on that case and solved it. “Didn’t Green get a commendation for catching him?”

Allegre cut his call and made another. “Status? Just now? Good yes.  I know. Vorpatril guessed.”

“I’m right?” Ivan asked in horror. “She has to get out! She has to get out now.”

“Sit down, Captain Vorpatril,” he said, “she’s clear. Sit.”  He pointed to a seat but Ivan couldn’t sit down.  Allegre gave Evie instructions and made calls Ivan had trouble hearing, and he realised he’d sat down after all when Allegre but a glass in his hand and told him to drink. Ivan drowned it and the burn gave him a welcome jolt.

“She set off an alarm and a few smoke grenades – they evacuated the building, but it wasn’t needed.” Allegre spoke in a calming matter of fact manner which belied the spark in his eyes. “Vorbright’s been intercepted. The disk has been deal with. You were right. Green used the same kind of explosive that was used in the Nolan affair.  If Vorgehin slotted in that disk it would have taken everyone out on that floor including him and the ensign.  Green or an accomplice must have planted the device earlier today. Eve caught it on her scan.”

“She said it didn’t make sense. Green wasn’t going to let them live,” Ivan said, “and Evie –“

“This is what she does...Ivan?”

Ivan looked up, startled at Allegre’s use of his first name. Allegre looked curious. “This is what she does; think hard if you can handle that because it’s going to be a long time before she retires.” He moved behind his desk and told someone to hold his calls before he gave Ivan his attention.

“Because of the nature of this case you are now going to give me your statement.”

Ivan looked around and tried not to stare again at Allegre’s dressing gown. “Here sir? To you?”

God he wanted to go to Evie. Where was she?

“Here and likely again tomorrow.” Allegre gave him a twisted smile. “It’s unorthodox but not unheard of especially in a case like this. This will be your full statement to me. You will refer to her as Agent Blue and you will be candid, full disclosure – that’s for everyone’s sake.  This is not going to be the official statement; we’ll deal with that tomorrow. Do we understand each other, Captain Vorpatril?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let’s start with Ensign Albert Vorgehin and why you called him into your office…”

Ivan didn’t go home after. He was told he’d probably get called in again and to get some sleep while he could.  He sat in Eve’s lobby and left her message.  He was wired and tired. What a day. He rubbed the back of his neck; everything felt blurry.   

Eve called him to come up, so palm and retina scan later he was on his way; he took two lifts, one to what he thought was the top floor and then another private one which required another scan that took him higher.

It came out on a plush, crimson patterned floor with one huge archaic wooden door in the wall – faux wooden. It opened as he was about to try the archaic chime. The door led into a short wood panelled hallway with blond wood floors, and a closed door at the other end. He frowned at who he faced.

“You don’t like her?”

Agent Blue. She stepped forward. “Could do some interesting role play…no? Not in the mood?”

“Sorry.” He was sorry. But he couldn’t lie.

“Let me show you it’s me.”

The small boots came off first, which gave her real height back. She peeled off her body suit and pulled off the small tube top which had been binding down her beautiful breasts. Then she took out her dull eyes, placed them in a tiny pouch and finally pulled off her sleek, neat wig and unbound her hair; it fell down past her waist, outwards and she was in his arms.  He wrapped his coat around her; she murmured his name as he buried his face in her hair and he held her.

 _Evie. She’s here. She’s alive._ But he looked at the discarded pile that belonged to Blue and frowned as he held her tighter.


	11. Two Pianos and Gregor Makes a Discovery

Eve watched Ivan sleep; she liked getting to know the planes of his face and body in a different state. But he’d been troubled by something.  He’d woken up a couple of hours ago from a dream or nightmare. Eve had been reading about obscure Barrayaran marriage laws at the time but she never got to ask what had woken him – if those mermaids had returned. He’d turned to her and kissed her with an urgency and violence that sent her reader flying and continued into an energetic lovemaking session; leaving them both with bruises and scratches and sending her into such an intense state of bliss it was only long after she’d wondered - had he been a dream state the entire time? She wasn’t sure; he’d fallen back to sleep far quicker than usual and hadn’t said anything but her name. 

It left her with a strong sense of foreboding; she tried to ignore it. She mussed his already tousled hair, touching the small scar on his temple and then she let herself finally face what had been on her mind: _do you want what I want, Ivan? Do you?_   _Has it all changed because of my work?_  

Ivan grunted and stretched and Eve shook her head at his position on the bed. Ivan was a sprawler; arms flung out and those delightful long, long legs all over the place. In her huge bed it made no difference. She often got lost in it.  But Ivan’s stretching was a signal. Eve went into her too large kitchen and made her daily sludge, mixing it in her favourite bright blue _Earth Rules!_ mug and made Ivan a strong black extremely hot coffee.  

Ivan blinked awake and stretched as she wished him good morning.  That tug of delight and heat grew when he gave her that slow smile…that faded. Her own smile faded too as a cold knot twisted into her stomach. She handed him his coffee from the side table before she started on her own drink. He’d taken his mug with a tired thanks and leaned back. He drowned a good half of the coffee and contemplated her before he wished her good morning and asked,

“What are you drinking?” He wrinkled his nose. “Doesn’t smell like your usual chocolate.”

She looked down at the heavy mug in her hands. “It’s a soup I have every morning; my medic makes me have it; it’s a compromise because I won’t follow his bizarre diet plan. The soup’s full of vitamins and the like.”  And she clamped her mouth shut. _Getting into rambling territory, Eve, rein it in._

Ivan looked surprised and she expected him to comment, as most people did, that he didn’t think she drank anything but hot chocolate but instead he said, “I would’ve liked to bring you a morning drink for once.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“Only I’ve never seen you wake up.”

Oh hell. Why did it have to be today? Why did he have to mention that today? She didn’t respond, just moved to the edge of the bed to rest the mug down on the tall table.

“I’ve not got any news about any further arrests,” she said.  “But I don’t tend to get updates of that kind. You hear anything yet? Your wristcom was going off a lot.”

Ivan glanced at it. “Nothing from HQ.” He raised his eyes. “Do you think I don’t know you never sleep at my apartment? You always go home to sleep, don’t you?”

“I don’t need as much sleep as you.”

“That’s not an answer,” he murmured.

She walked over to the wide window wall and altered it to let in more light. The sun was up in VS. No clouds outside, just inside.

 _Just tell him._ _Get it out of the way. Like your damn soup. Tell him all your freaky quirks._

“I’ve never been able to fall asleep with any of my lovers,” she said.

She turned around; the sunlight was playing over the bed and on his bare skin as the sheets had fallen far down. She resisted the urge to get back into bed. “Does it bother you, Ivan?”

He put the coffee aside and angled his head, narrowing those deep, brown eyes. “None of them have slept with you? Not one.”

She wondered how many lovers he thought she’d had. She hoped it was lots. But he sounded like he didn’t believe her.

“Not one although my da reckons my relationships have been too short.” She thought of her father now, warning her about Vors and men in uniform. A wave of homesickness washed over her. “And that it’s a trust thing,” she added, realising her mistake far too late.

“I…see. You think I’m going to do something to you in your sleep?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. We’ve not been together that long.”

“I sleep with you. I let you do what you want to me in my sleep.”

“I know.  It’s very hard to explain.  My head and my body don’t always cooperate with each other.” _Oh great, Eve. That sounds much better._ “It’s not personal I mean. I’ve been like this since – for as long as I can remember.  Do you want breakfast? I could order up some.” 

“No thanks. I should go in. Surprise they didn’t call me in.” 

While he showered, Eve left the bedroom and went into her study and closed the door. She rested her forehead against the door for a long while.

_You have to ask now you rambling idiot.  You have to know. What if I don’t like the answer? It’s only been two weeks. Not to you. Must stop talking to myself._

She timed her exit so he’d be dressed in his greens and she wasn’t tempted to have at him while he was dressing. He was still barefoot though; she was ridiculously fond of his large feet. They weren’t scary; one of her exes had had very scary, nobbly feet.

“You have two pianos?” he asked, as she stopped looking at his toes, gesturing to the two large black pianos. He clutched the coffee cup. Second cup she guessed. “I didn’t notice them last night.”

They exchanged brief smiles of what had been occupying them last night as they had moved into her bedroom, conveniently located on the ground floor. He walked around the piano, placing it between them.

“One piano isn’t mine,” Eve said. _May as well tell him_. _Looks like it’s one of those days_. “I stole it to prove a point. Don’t worry – I’m giving it back.”

He choked on his coffee and eyed her, baffled.  “You stole it? From who?”

“Your cousin.”

“No!” He laughed and stared at it. Her heart swelled. First laugh today. _Please laugh more_. “You stole it from Vorkosigan House? How? You can’t just slip it in your pocket.”

She explained how she’d inserted it into the Vorkosigan House schedule; how she mentioned to Ma Kosti (at their last interview session) that she’d thought she’d heard Miles say he was getting a different piano. She’d made sure an Armsman was there when she said it.  She’d also had the movers go in when Miles and family were away from home.

“So they let the piano be taken away because it was in the system,” she finished. “And I logged it as a security exercise at work just in case Miles reports it. But I think he’ll guess it was me.”

“Miles is going to go crazy - with everyone.” Ivan looked impressed and then wary.

“I’m not doing this to get the staff into trouble. Miles insisted the current processes are fine. I think he needs another layer; he doesn’t.”

“I’d pay a million to see his face when he realises.  You really got one over on him, didn’t you?”

The way he said it sounded more like an accusation. He turned away and looked around. “Can’t see my coat.”

While Ivan slipped on his socks and boots at the door, Eve walked over to the hidden closet by the vestibule and pulled out his heavy great coat, ignoring the pleasant Ivan scent of it and wanting to throw it at him; a sudden fury pricking at her. As she handed it to him, a rolled up file fell out of a pocket on to the floor.

“Damn, I’d forgotten,” he muttered. He picked it up with a grimace. “Best get this signed.”

“Got a deadline?” she asked trying not to be seen to be prying.

“It’s to do with m’father’s plaque,” he blew out a laugh, “feels like years ago.”

“Has something happened to it?”

“I threatened to have it dug up for good. I won’t. I – never mind.”

“I’m glad,” she said softly, feeling bones under her feet and not knowing where to tread. “That you’re keeping it there. It’s an historical landmark as well,” she said and since he said nothing she carried on. “I don’t know how you and your mother must feel about it - people gathering to see you 

both every year; your part of the history. It must be hard for your mother. To lose someone you love like that and to publically grieve.”

He snorted. “She doesn’t do that ceremony t’grieve. Don’t know why she does it. Is this ruining your romantic vision of my birthday?” His hands tightened on the file, creasing the flimsies “Says he’s a coward for trying to get help. That’s what she relives; thinks we let her down.”

She stepped forward and said, “We?”

“I’m not ashamed of that bonfire; I don’t care who saw me. I don’t see why I should be. I don’t see why I should hate m’father either. Who says m’mother’s right?” He looked at her and blinked - embarrassment and shock filling his eyes. Eve was relieved she’d managed to tease out what he was talking about but God she didn’t like to see that look of shame that he’d spoken.

“You’re both right, I think,” Eve said as neutrally as possible, turning away to look at the view to give him time to settle himself.  “I mean you can’t apply logic to those situations, can you? It’s your experience.  Your mother can’t tell you how you should’ve reacted to your wife’s betrayal and you can’t tell her how to feel about your father; no matter how hard you try you can’t put yourself in each other’s place. I have people telling me I should feel safer now. What happened to me at that Betan clinic was over ten years ago after all. So what if that therapist said she would find us and finish the job– she’s incarcerated right?”   

“You don’t feel safe?”

“I’m a lot better than I was,” Eve said. “A lot better. But I don’t live in this secure penthouse for the view.”

His wristcom chimed and his brow creased again. “I really have to go now.”

“Now? Ivan we need to talk.”

“We just talked,” he said defensively.

“Not about me and you we haven’t. I want more than this,” she said bluntly. “You can’t tell me you’re happy with this arrangement?” She swept a hand through her hair. “We hardly get to see each other.”

There. She’d said it but he was already backing into the vestibule.

“I make time when I can,” he said, avoiding her eyes.

Her heart dropped into her stomach.

“And that’s enough for you? You don’t mind that we can’t do anything because we’re keeping this a secret?”

“We both agreed to that,” he pointed out. “And this isn’t the time to talk about it. I have to get to work.”

She exhaled and ploughed on as the knot inside her got tighter and colder. “I want more time with you. Do you want that? Do you want to get serious or is this it for you? It’s not a hard question. It’s a yes or no. Serious or not.”

He looked away, heat burned up her throat and eyes. Oh. God. “I guess I have my answer.”

He was shaking his head. “S’only been two weeks. It’s too much too soon, Evie. Can’t we carry on as we are?”

“Giving me your leftovers and scraps of time? God, I’m such an _idiot_. You don’t want me like I want you.” And a mortifying flush washed over her as she realised she’d said that out loud.

Whatever he was going to say she stopped him with a raised hand. She couldn’t take one more word of confirmation.

“Please leave.” She brushed past him and hit the door panel. “Leave. Now.”

She didn’t look at him as he left; she closed and locked the door, refusing to cry. She curled up and lay down on the floor for a long, long time. She was getting good at not crying.

**

**Vorkosigan House Three Days Later**

Eve wasn’t smug but that wasn’t the only reason Miles reined in his tongue. He’d called Eve as soon as he’d discovered what happened to the piano – the fact that it was the _piano_ had clued Miles in to who had so neatly and seamlessly made a fool of him and his staff.  He would’ve given Eve a raking for it, no matter what her motivations or how impressed he was, but she didn’t seem like her usual self. Her hair was also unusually bound back from her face making her look younger and deceptively fragile.

“I’ll return it to you this evening,” she said over the vid plate.  “I’ve sent a report.”

“I’ve seen it and I’ll consider your suggestions.”

She nodded and then shook her head as if dislodging a thought. “Everyone at the House alright?”

“Fine thanks. Ma Kosti misses you. Said you had to cancel your session yesterday.”

A small smile. “That was nice of her to say. May I – is Ekaterin there? I need to talk to her. Privately please.”

Miles ceded the comconsole to his wife and then returned when the call was over to interrogate her. Ekaterin swept a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled.

“It’s not a secret. She wanted me to provide a day for her to see Ma Kosti –“

“But-“

“When Ivan is sure not to be here.”

Miles let out a breath. “Ah.” What’s he done now? “Why didn’t she ask me? Did she tell you why?”

Ekaterin patted his cheek. “And you’ve answered your own question. She didn’t want to talk about why and I had no intention of pressing her; she looked troubled enough.” She scrolled though her messages on the comconsole again. “I’ve had nothing from Ivan, have you?” 

“I’m not calling him, Ekaterin. He’s a very large boy; he can take care of himself.”

“But Miles, he would’ve heard about Martya’s betrothal by now.”

Miles called Ivan but received no answer and then received a call from Gregor.

“Glad you’re back. Two things: I need you on this Green fiasco.” Gregor rapidly filled him with a quiet fury. “It appears to be the work of four officers but you’ll confirm whether that actually is the case. You’ll be liaising with Desplains and Allegre.”

Miles absorbed it all rapidly, enthralled to be sinking his teeth into it; appalled that it was happening in-house.

“And the second thing?”

Gregor grimaced and leaned back in his chair.  He was in undress greens which was understandable considering the meetings he’d no doubt taken but then Gregor puffed out a laugh.

“The second thing I only discovered due to the first thing.  Eve was the agent who discovered Green’s plans albeit by accident. Luck – is that we’re relying on these days?”

“It’s not the luck, sire. It’s knowing what to do with it and she did. You grab your luck when you can as far as I’m concerned.”

Miles had no idea where this was leading but waited patiently for Gregor to get there. There was a point to the preamble; Gregor, like his father, never wasted words.

“Ivan was with her too,” Gregor said, fingers tapping on his arm rest and he told Miles what had transpired the night of Eve’s discoveries. “Turns out they’re _together_ – ah! You didn’t know. Good. Glad there is something I’m up to speed on.”

“He was annoyingly cheery when I last saw him,” Miles said. “But he never said.” Sneaky bastard.

“Well now comes the next part. The events of last year, if it wasn’t for knowing you all as I do I would suspect some kind of conspiracy.”

“Sire!” Miles protested; the ghost of a decision touching his shoulder.

Gregor waved a hand to dismiss his concern. “I didn’t know, Miles, to what extent Eve was…used last year. Allegre assumed quite rightly that Simon and Lady Alys had appraised me in detail, as Lady Alys indicated to him she would, but she omitted some pertinent details. Most unlike her.”

“Appraised you of…?”

“That it was internal surveillance of Ivan’s apartment, Miles. Not additional perimeter surveillance.”

 _Oh shit._ The wedding had distracted them all and they’d never talked about it after. Ivan was alright after all. Miles had not raised Eve’s role and no one else had but Miles had been sure Gregor knew.

“I thought you were deliberately not bringing it up,” Miles said with a short laugh.

“I was kept in the dark as much as Ivan but he knows now I’ve been led to believe. I’ve requested him to come and speak to me. He should be here soon and then,” Gregor smiled thinly, “I will be having a nice chat with his Lady mother and Simon.” He nodded thoughtfully.  “First, I’m going to make them sit through your father’s cadet presentation on honour, integrity and responsibility.”

Miles squirmed for his aunt and Simon. He swallowed “Sire, I’m sorry. I –“

“No need, Miles, this was not your fault.”

“For once?”

Gregor snorted and narrowed his eyes. “And you didn’t know about him and Eve?”

Miles shook his head. “I haven’t seen much and…” Miles remembered Eve’s call.

“What is it?”

Miles told him and Gregor frowned. “That doesn’t sound like that they’re still together.”

“You’ll find out before me. He’s not answering my calls. Let’s hope it was a mutual parting. What’s the second thing?”

“Hmm?”

“You said _first_ you’re going to show Simon and Aunt Alys the vid; I’m assuming there is a second?”

“That is entirely dependent on how this meeting with Ivan ends.”

 

 

 


	12. Gregor Has A Plan

**Imperial Residence**

Ivan was glad work was done for the day. It was another hellish day of meetings, providing a galaxy of data and dealing with short tempers. It distracted him from thinking of Evie every second of every minute but he had constant reminders.

Ensign Vorgehin had been completely exonerated but there were still interviews; the daft fellow seemed to think he and Snyder had been responsible for cracking the case open and he’d come to Ivan’s office to thank him. But Ivan refused to take any credit. He also told the ensign to go to ImpSec if he wanted to know the agent who had turned up to his flat and saved his life.

Ivan had been a little short with the fellow and would’ve apologised if he hadn’t been an ensign. (Apologise to an ensign? Not bloody likely). But Vorgehin hadn’t seemed to notice Ivan’s irritation when Vorgehin kept mentioning the mysterious agent over and over.

God he missed her.  He missed her and he couldn’t have her.  He wanted her back but he couldn’t give her what she wanted. He reached into his pocket and felt her scarf there; the scarf she’d dropped at the ball and he’d never returned. He wanted more time with her but without –

“Captain Vorpatril?”

“What?” he looked up. “Oh yes. I beg your pardon. What?”

The Armsman gestured to the door.

“You may go through.”

Judging by his tone the Armsman was repeating himself.  Ivan left the comfortable chair and walked through to Gregor’s study; it was a small windowless room lined with books, a small fireplace and only one dark table with a couple of mismatched chairs opposite each other where  Gregor was seated; he waved Ivan in to the seat opposite him.

Gregor looked relaxed in a casual suit, no uniform – not business then.  Ivan relaxed while his emperor perused something on the comconsole. “I won’t be long, Ivan. Help yourself to a drink,” he said gesturing to the decanter and glasses on the table.

Ivan eased himself into the chair and moved his legs to the side so he didn’t kick him. The table was quite narrow. As he poured himself a drink he examined the worn wood; a sharp pain coursing memories through him. He took a sip of his drink and then a few more. The room was like Evie’s study that she had next to her bedroom. She had lots of books too. Probably had read them all.

He kept dreaming of her or the absence of her. Dreams where he searched his apartment for where she was hiding. He’d wake up with the same gulf inside him. He’d rather have those other dreams back where she was drowning him in fire than this craving; this ache.

“You look dreadful,” Gregor said.

“Thank you, sire.”

Gregor’s lips twitched a little.  “Have you eaten?”

“Ah no. Just come straight from HQ.”

“I’ll get them to bring up something soon.  Well, Ivan. I had an interesting chat with your mother, about your father’s plaque.”

“Oh,” Ivan said.

He’d apologised to Mamere for being short with her but that’s all, and said what Evie had: that they each had no right to judge the other.  She told him she only wanted what was best for him and that she loved him and he wasn’t to think she wasn’t proud of him. Ivan could’ve done without the first part of her speech. He doubted his mother was ever going to stop trying to do what was ‘best’ for him.  Especially after what she’d pulled today.

“Yes, she said you’ve decided against a public ceremony from now on. That you’re keeping it private.”

Ivan nodded; his concession was they would still have breakfast on his birthday; something he had wished he hadn’t promised now.

“She also said she was concerned about your behaviour.”

“ _My_ behaviour?” And he shook his head. “She’s the one who- sorry, sire.”

“No, please, Ivan do tell. To put it bluntly, I’m a little concerned about how your mother has handled your divorce. I’m coming to the conclusion that you’ve handled it far better than she has.”

Ivan did a double take in his wave of relief, and Gregor smiled as he refilled Ivan’s glass.  Ivan drowned half the contents as Gregor waited and urged him on.

“She’s crossed the line again. It’s not as if the surveillance was bad enough but she went to Desplains; to my CO! She told him to tell me how being with Evie could harm my career. Then he went on about pedigree and how he was a prole himself but even he knew with me being High Vor and VS society being what it was - God,” Ivan ran a hand over his face.

Gregor flinched. “I can see how that would be quite ah-“

“Humiliating?” Ivan supplied, still reeling from it. “And damned hypocritical! Isn’t Simon a prole? Exceptional that he is but so’s Evie. ” He sighed. So exceptional.

“I have a feeling it’s not the lack of Vor that mainly concerns your mother.”

“Well she’s driving me crazy. I’m going to ask for a transfer; even if it’s too Kyril Island. She can’t get to me there. I heard it’s nice this time of year.”

“Won’t Eve object?” Gregor asked amused, topping up Ivan’s glass.

Ivan looked down at his boots and reached into his pocket, sliding the scarf between his fingers. “I didn’t tell m’mother but Evie and I – we’re not together.”  

“Because of what Desplains said?”

“No!” Ivan stared at his emperor. “No. Evie’s amazing. I wish she ate better and that she could sleep – no, that’s her business.  Doesn’t matter now.  Amazing woman –  anyone who says different is an idiot.  Desplains hasn’t met her. He doesn’t know her. M’mother’s just mad because of what happened last year – all because Eve didn’t call her.”

“Yes, Miles appraised me of that.”

Ivan frowned. “Miles? Thought m’mother would have told you.”

“You’re not the only one,” Gregor said drily. “So it was a mutual break up?” Gregor pursued. 

Ivan stood up feeling crowded all of a sudden.  He undid his collar and took a breath. “I s’pose.  I can’t do it, sire. Not again. Not _marriage_.” _I miss her though. I miss her. I miss her. I miss her._

Gregor gasped. “She proposed?”

“Not directly. I…” He rubbed the back of his neck and turned back to face Gregor. “Are you sure want to hear all this?”

“I may be able to help, Ivan. Here have another drink.”

Ivan sighed and flopped back into the chair. He picked up his glass and took another drink, “I don’t see how you can help, sire.”

**

**Imperial Residence – Conference Room**

Alys and Simon faced Gregor in his dress greens. He indicated they should sit down as he sat across from them at the other end of the large table, in a chair which gave him more height.

“Did you enjoy the vid?” Gregor asked.

“Is this a trick question, sire?” Simon asked.

Gregor’s smile was thin and sharp. “I wish it was. In all the years you were chief it never would have crossed my mind that out of retirement I would be reminding you of your responsibilities to my service men…and women.”

“Sire –“

“I’m sure there are a number of them that would be eager to serve you. To be honoured to because they trust your history, your integrity. Do I need to remind you both of the position you place them in when you ask them? Do I need you to retake your oaths and promises and spell out the reason we do not use our military training to solve personal problems?”

Collective, quiet ‘no, sires’ were spoken.

“You have forced me, Simon, to request Allegre to put a protocol in place where you will no longer be able to do this again.”

Simon flinched and slowly nodded. It’s what he would have done after all.  Gregor turned to Alys.

“Why was I not informed of what you had done to your son, Alys?” Gregor bluntly asked.

Simon’s surprised look told all Gregor needed to know.

“I didn’t think it was worthy of your time what with the wedding and all that entailed,” Alys said simply and defensively. “And it was all over quite quickly so there wasn’t much point.”

Gregor wondered if she really believed that.

“Except it wasn’t over because Eve returned,” Gregor pointed out.

“She handled Ivan badly.”

“No,” Gregor said with an edge that seemed to cut the room. “She handled him with humanity. I know all that transpired, Alys.  The way you handled Ivan is an insult to your own intelligence. I can think of three alternative ways you could have kept an eye on him without this violation. What you did was lazy and clumsy.”

Alys’s only reaction was to clench and unclench her hand.

“I also know that you asked Desplains to speak to Ivan. I may not be a parent yet but I do know you are on a fast track to alienating your son. But,” he said firmly, fixing Alys with a stare so she didn’t interrupt. “I can see you’ve all suffered some collateral damage with Ivan’s divorce so I’m going to assist you to get out of this mire before you completely sink; I’m feeling quite magnanimous.” 

Gregor viewed their looks of regret and apprehension as a very good sign.

“I’m sending you both on a working holiday,” he said with a broad grin. “You leave in two days. Cordelia and Aral are looking forward to seeing you both.  And I’m sure, Alys, that Cordelia will gladly furnish you with some Betan ideas on how you could have handled Ivan.”

**

Laisa had manged one slice of the cake but had watched Eve demolish the rest of the cake down to the last piece. The last time Laisa had witnessed something like this Eve had received a 52% on an essay.

Eve frowned as she wiped her hands on the blue and cream napkin. “What you staring at, Empress?”

“That was a ten inch cake.”

“Are you rationing your desserts now at ImpRes?”

“Ten. Inch. Cake.”

Eve shrugged. “Bill me. Do you want me to stay and tell you or not?”

They were seated in Laisa’s blue parlour on a sunlit table by the balcony window-doors. Laisa had summoned Eve to ImpRes because both she and Tatya were concerned when they’d spoken to Eve. Eve seeming to think she was projecting a happy appearance with her dead eyes and distracted air. 

Eve said she’d received great results on her last paper, and her face had lit up temporarily when she told them about that and her latest research so it wasn’t that. Also her father and friends back home on Earth were fine. Laisa wondered if Eve was homesick or if something had happened with her secret lover.  

So Laisa had invited Eve over to ImpRes so they could talk and Eve knew that resistance to Laisa’s questions was futile.

“First I want you to know I’m alright,” Eve said a touch formally, pulling her hair to the front and plaiting it. “I was feeling sorry for myself there for a moment but now everything is back to normal. I’m back to – everything is alright.”

Laisa smiled and poured more tea into the blue and white chequered mug. “But that doesn’t tell me what’s wrong, Eve honey. _Was_ wrong,” Laisa amended seeing that combative look in Eve’s eye. “Since you’re fine now.”

“Yes, I am. Back to normal. I need to tell you what happened anyway to explain why I can’t attend any more of your social events. It’s a good reason and I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Laisa could hear the hairline crack under Eve’s words and nodded.

“So,” continued Eve, picking up her cup and placing it back down with a clatter. “I’ve been seeing someone. Was seeing him. For about two weeks and we broke up because it just wasn’t meant to carry on; we were too different in the end and – and – because he said I’m too much for him.” And she burst into tears.

 

**Comconsole Conference Call**

After comparing stories Laisa was confused but the others weren’t.

“Barrayaran men are like that,” Ekaterin said with a weary sigh, “’serious’ to them always means marriage. I would be upset with Ivan, but his divorce is so near to him it explains why he over reacted. He doesn’t appear to have explained himself very well to poor Eve either. If he had they wouldn’t be in this situation. I do believe it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“I bet there was an Ivan shaped hole in her door,” Miles said nodding.

Laisa tried to stifle a smile. “This is not funny.  I’ve never seen Eve like this; oh she’ll get through it but he’s torn through her and left that Ivan shape hole a lot deeper. More than she’ll admit to me. She wasn’t even thinking marriage; Eve doesn’t think that long term – she won’t let herself.  She just wanted more time with him but if he doesn’t want that –”

“He does,” Gregor said. “I told you. He wouldn’t stop talking about how wonderful she is, how kind she is, how smart she is, how brave, and then even down to some physical aspects I’d rather have done without hearing.”

Laisa gave her husband a look. “You shouldn’t have got him drunk.”

Gregor smiled. “Means to an end, my love. Luckily for me he hadn’t eaten. Forgotten how much he could hold his booze.”

“Hollow bones,” Miles said.

Gregor laughed. “So what are we going to do, troops?”

Eventually Ekaterin agreed to the plan since it involved nothing more but strategic truth telling.

**

**Vorkosigan House**

Eve packed the diaries Ma Kosti had given her into the preservation paper she’d brought from the university. She slipped them carefully into her bag, as Ma Kosti poured Eve another hot chocolate. She handed Eve the cinnamon shaker and inserted a cinnamon stick in the cup too. She knew her very well by now.

“Thanks for loaning me the diaries. I’m touched you trust me,” Eve said. “It’s been an eye-opener hearing about your family over the generations.”

Ma Kosti pressed a hand to the flyers Eve had left on the table. “You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things, Eve.  My daughter in law has said she’ll go with me to these classes. I had no idea old people like me could attend these courses.”

“Age is relative,” Eve said waving a hand. “Doesn’t mean much these days.”

She laughed. “Wait until you get to my age and then you’ll see.  I don’t mean to pry, dear, but is everything well?”

Eve nodded. “Yes, I’m just preoccupied with my studies,” she lied. It seemed to be the kind of vague answer that satisfied the endless people who asked her if she alright.

But Ma Kosti continued to stare in that soft maternal way that forced Eve to look away. 

“Well if you want an ear to bend you can bend mine, dear.”

“Thanks but really. I’m fine.”

Ekaterin came into the kitchen with that fluid grace Eve envied, and asked Eve to join her in the library when she was done.

“We’re done now,” Eve said and followed Ekaterin, allowing Ma Kosti to bring her drink and cake in on a tray. There was no way Eve was going to risk leaving a trail of hot chocolate from the kitchen to the library.

After the door was closed and they sat down, Ekaterin started to fiddle with her silver drop earing.

“I wanted to be honest with you, Eve.”

“Alright,” Eve said carefully.

“I know why you don’t want Ivan to be here.”

“Oh.”

The stab in Eve’s heart grew sharper. She could do without hearing his name. Too many Ivans on Barrayar too. Too many uniforms. Not that it mattered. She saw him anyway. She couldn’t get rid of him. Only one night in the penthouse and he was haunting her place.

“It explains why he’s been so happy,” Ekaterin continued, “why he was. He’s not like that now. I just wondered if you would reconsider.”

“Reconsider?”

“To try it again and slow it down. I think it’s going to be a long time before he’s ready for marriage.”

Eve stared and put the mug down. “Ekaterin, I can honestly say I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh. Well, Ivan’s under the impression that you were indicating that you wanted a more serious relationship.”

“Yes, but I still don’t follow.”

“He took that to mean a…betrothal.”

Eve stood up. “He _what?”_ she roared.  “How the – no! Ekaterin come on! You’ve not known me that long but long enough surely - do you really think I would be so utterly stupid! Of course I didn’t mean marriage.”

And it was amazing how that rage tempered the hurt for the first time to something where she could start to see past it. She wanted to throttle him. “How dare he say such things about me!”

“Oh dear, it does seem to be a quite horrible misunderstanding. I’m sorry, Eve. It may be that finding out that Martya was remarrying caused him to ah -”

“Behave like a prize moron?”

Eve paced, her hair whirling around her. She could not believe it.  It wasn’t just his ridiculous marriage idea; it couldn’t be. He was different that day he ended it before she’d even said anything about – God damn him! Marriage? Really? How could he be so stupid?”

“Eve?”

Eve spun around and Ekaterin was staring at her wristcom. “It’s awful timing but Ivan’s dropped by. But don’t worry. He’s in the kitchen. You can still leave without him seeing you.”

Raging, Eve shook her head. “Now why would I want to do that?”

She opened the library door and charged in the direction of the kitchen.


	13. Ivan's Not Drunk | The Vorkosigans Make A Bet

On entering the kitchen Eve’s eye zoomed in on Ivan in house uniform, leaning casually against the fridge, cup in hand as he was chatting to Miles. Ivan’s smile cut through her and set her fury to blazing.

“How dare you!” she said stalking in and planting herself in front of him.

Ivan’s cup toppled, splashing the entire contents of coffee over his hand and he swore graphically.

“Oh did that hurt?” Eve asked. “ _Good!_ Serves you right for spreading lies about me! How dare you tell people I wanted to marry you! I never said any such thing. What are you doing? Put your hand under the cold water! Do you want to get a damn blister?”

“I didn’t spread anything,” he protested, going to the sink and dousing his hand in the water. He turned his head, narrowing his eyes at Ekaterin and Miles who were doing a bad job of pretending to be invisible, “just told someone who – wait!” he called as Eve turned to go but Eve had spun back to face him.

“And when I said I wanted serious it didn’t mean marriage. Like I’d push for marriage after just two weeks! Do you think I’m – I’m stupid? Or desperate? Or both?” She stepped back. “You really don’t know me at all!”

He grabbed her arm with his wet, reddened hand. “Don’t leave.”

She’d wrenched her arm away from him. “You don’t get to touch me, Ivan.”

His face went white. How dare he look hurt!

“Thank Ma Kosti for me, please,” Eve said to the Vorkosigans, her voice pitching, “I have to go home now.”

Ekaterin walked with her and before she matched her pitying look with words Eve cut her off.

“Thanks, Ekaterin,” Eve said, appalled at how her voice shook. “Good to know where one stands. Sorry for drama.” She tried to smile but she doubted she succeeded.

“You’re not the one who should be apologising, Eve.”

 _Got to get away from here. Away. Away. Away._ But Ivan caught up to them in the vestibule. “I want to talk about this.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about,” Eve said, pulling on her jacket. “I know it wasn’t just this. You were different before I said anything about being _serious._ It was all a mistake. All of it. Let’s forget it ever happened. Erase the whole two weeks.”

“I know you don’t mean that,” Ivan said, eyes wide.

“I do mean it.  I want it all to go away. You ruptured me, Ivan and I stupidly let it happen. So yes, I want it all to go away just like you do.”

“You’re wrong!” he said.

“Ivan,” Ekaterin pleaded.

“No,” he said his tone rising. “She’s wrong. I had a lot of things on my mind that day you’re right but I – God damn it!”  He tugged hard at his hair. “I want a second chance, Evie. You said everyone deserves a second chance. I want one. You gave that damn ensign one. I deserve one more than him! I have a right to one.”

“Based on what?”

“I’m in love with you.  Based on that! You have to talk to me.”

Her breath stuck and whooshed out just as quick. She broke the silence with a strangled, “You don’t make any sense!” Ivan opened his mouth again and Eve pointed at it. “Stop talking! Stop it!”

“I have an idea,” Ekaterin said, a hand on Eve’s arm and guiding her back into the house into the library. “Wait in here.”

“He doesn’t make any sense,” Eve said. “Is he drunk?”

“I’m not drunk!”

“Shush, Ivan or ruin this for good,” Ekaterin said firmly.

 **

**The Library**

Ekaterin explained it to Eve as best as she could. She envied Eve’s poise – she seemed to handle Ivan better than Ekaterin had handled Miles’s peculiar courtship. But the envy didn’t last long when she caught glimpses of the pain Ivan had caused Eve; it flashed in her eyes and resonated so deeply with Ekaterin she wondered if she was doing right by her to promote Ivan’s cause.

Knowing Eve’s eating habits quite well by now, Ekaterin had provided Eve with two pieces of chocolate cake which she was slowly eating but without pause, while Ekaterin explained what Ivan had said – in her own words as Ivan didn’t seem to be able to articulate it too well.

“It’s an explanation more than an excuse,” Ekaterin continued, “but hearing about Martya’s betrothal and taking over the handling of his father’s plaque may have contributed to his overreaction.  I believe he and Lady Alys didn’t have a well -”

“They had a blow out,” Eve provided, “I know.  There was something else that happened between me and Ivan on that same day so yes, I’ll cut him some slack for not being in the most pragmatic state of mind.” Eve sighed and placed the empty plate on the table before leaning back in the chair. “But he did say he wanted things to stay as they are so it still makes no sense him saying he wants a second chance. He knows I don’t want things to stay the same.”

Ivan declaring his love had not been touched upon by Eve, and since Ekaterin could see Eve obviously ignoring it she began to suspect what else was going on.

“I have asked Ivan about that. He meant that he wanted to carry on without marriage being part of it.” Yet, Ekaterin thought. “He said marriage was too much too soon to think about.”

Eve’s face lit up. “Oh! That’s what he meant? I thought he…” she let out a short laugh. “Oh God all this time I thought he’d decided _I_ was too much for him.”

Ekaterin shook her head. “Definitely not. No.  Eve, You must have seen it yourself here on Barrayar. As much as things are changing it’s still very much embedded here; for some two weeks could quite easily lead to a betrothal – with or without love – and is not considered a short amount of time.” She paused before she added. “The fact that Ivan has strong feelings for you probably triggered him thinking along marriage lines too.”

“But he must know I’m not like that, and two weeks to fall for someone that hard and…” She picked up her hot chocolate and took a swallow.

And there it was. Ekaterin tried not to smile. “If you’re asking me if two weeks is too short a time to _fall_ in love I can’t tell you. It can happen in a lot less time than that”

“Yes, I suppose. Do you mind me asking something…about Ivan’s ex-wife? He never mentions her.”

Ekaterin shook her head. “I don’t mind but I may not be able to answer your questions.”

“Understood. But they knew each other for years, right?”

Ekaterin nodded. “Yes, from birth. The families – Miles’s, Lady Alys’s and the Koudelkas were all good, close friends; Ivan and Martya I gather always had a rather prickly kind of friendship but he trusted her. He loved her, Eve, but I’m quite sure he wasn’t _in_ love with her, not that that diminishes what happened.”

“No. I think it’s worse; a lifetime friend betraying you.”

Ekaterin sighed. “Yes, you’re probably right. But even though they knew each other for a long time the lead up from their betrothal to marriage was very short, and I know Ivan won’t mind me disclosing this but he has regrets on that score.”

“And me saying I wanted to get serious after two weeks…oh I see it all now.” She scrubbed a hand over her face.  “I thought he was handling his divorce well. He seemed to be. It really messed with his head didn’t it?”

“Yes, but you’re right he is handling it and unravelling the mess – a lot better than people give him credit for.” Ekaterin hesitated. “Eve, you can’t always get what you want at a convenient time. Using timing as an excuse to avoid taking a chance will only lead to regret.”

She’d left Ivan to chew on that thought too.

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

Ekaterin dismissed this with a hand wave. “It’s predictably easy to give advice after the fact.”

Eve laughed and then she leaned forward and grasped Ekaterin’s hands, startling her. “You’re very kind to do this. I know you must have a ton of work to do; not just your professional gardening thing but Ivan said you’re always studying too and you’re getting your babies kick started, planning your epic honeymoon - how you manage all this on  top of running the district –“

“I’m not the countess, Eve!”

Eve snorted. “But you’re doing the work of one while she and the Count are absent. Time is very precious and I just wanted you to know I’m very grateful for yours.  All this has happened because I wanted more time with Ivan.”

“He wants it too,” Ekaterin said squeezing Eve’s hand in return. “Eve, do you mind me asking you – _are_ you in love with Ivan?”

“Oh, Ekaterin, of course I am. How could I not be?”

**

Ivan couldn’t hear what they were saying. Damn soundproof door. Miles stood on the sidelines tutting and shaking his head. When the library door opened Ivan nearly stumbled into Ekaterin.

“Ivan,” Ekaterin gasped. “I told you to wait in the –”

“It’s alright,” said Eve but before he could speak she placed a finger on his lips.

“Let me get this out of way first.  I want us to get to know each other under normal non-secret circumstances. Do normal couple things like go to restaurants, rock climbing and picnics – outdoor picnics not just the ones in your bed although I liked those very much especially what you did with the icing sugar and chocolate sauce. Oh and the picnic has to be in a secure area with adequate, visible exits. I know you being High Vor and me…not, is going to create a stir but I know we can cope with that, if we want to.  I just want to take it day by day, no long terms plans because there is still so much we don’t know about each other.” She removed her finger from his mouth and let out a long breath. “What do you think?”     

“I think,” Ivan said carefully, grinning because he couldn’t help but grin, “it’s time we got serious.”

 

**Escobaran Ball**

Ivan was trying not to be seen to be looking for Evie. She was late – alright she’d told him she would be late but she was still late.

“Ivan?”

Ivan reflexively smiled as Isabella took him aside. As the host she was definitely drawing the eye. For once her glossy hair was piled high with elaborate gold threads but that wasn’t what was making people stare. Like her mother Ambassador she was wearing a floor length gown with a side split so close to the hip Ivan was sure he wasn’t the only who wondered that it didn’t reveal anything further. It seemed be the Escobaran fashion for those with the legs to get away with it. Her slim legs were also dusted in something that shimmered as much as her gold dress.  It did make the Barrayaran women’s gowns look dull in comparison which Ivan was sure was the point. What was Eve going to wear? She hadn’t told him; he was looking forward to it but she was late.

Isabella was telling him something he’d already been informed of but he pretended to look surprised. The following week she was going on a tour around Barrayar with a friend from home. Ivan assumed she was excited about it but with Isabella it was hard to tell.

“I wanted to come clean about something,” Isabella said, deftly taking a flute of pink drink from a servant passing by. “I found the real reason Carl wanted me to pair off with a lord. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry to tell you the truth. Always the business man,” she said affectionately and in exasperation. “It explains why he was looking at Lord Vorbretten as a possibility but well he didn’t quite take to him like we’ve all taken to you.”

Ivan nodded but didn’t thank her. He’d gotten used to the slight patronising manner but it still grated on him sometimes but that was the Escobarans. You couldn’t take it personally. They were never outright arrogant like the Betans; just enough in their tone to let you know you weren’t quite on their level.  Also being thought of as better than Bret wasn’t much of a compliment. All the Vorbretten men were a moody lot and Bret was the worst.

“So why’s he given up?” Ivan asked.

“Because I’m going traveling and also you being so publicly partnered with Eve Sorrentti he’s given up.” She looked around. “She still not arrived.”

“She’ll be here.”

She would’ve been in sooner if Blue hadn’t got called in but Ivan had her ETA and since she dressed quicker than any woman he’d ever met he was sure she wouldn’t leave him waiting too long.

Isabella smiled as she scrutinised his face. “I hope I find what you two have one day although I’m sure you could do without the gossip. I thought my home could be cut throat but it’s been an education to experience the levels of maliciousness here.”

“It’s not always this bad,” Ivan said feeling the need to defend his home even though she was right.

“I’m getting off the point,” Isabella said, “most unlike me.”

“Must be the bubbly,” he said pointing to the exotic drink.

“Possibly. So Carl – the reason he wanted us to marry was so he could use the title on his latest venture; give it some aristocratic class.”

“Not sure I follow.”

She sighed. “Branding, Ivan. Banners with our faces on it; endorsing a string of Lady Vorpatril or Lord Vorpatril clinics and you being so handsome and being a lord he thought it was a match made in heaven. A publicity tour too to show that we were real and –”

“That was it? Literally my face and title.”

“I know it sounds insane but it’s quite lucrative. It’s amazing what subliminal messages those bring.”

Ivan reined in horror but muttered, “Not on Barrayar.”  Dear God. Please don’t let Miles find out about this. I’d never live it down.

“Oh it wouldn’t have been here.  You’re not offended are you? We like you apart from those things too,” she said soothingly.

But Ivan was too distracted to reply. Evie had arrived.

**

**Sergyar – At Home with the Other Vorkosigans**

They were watching ‘live’ (with the usual lag) highlights of the Escobaran ball since the Escobarans made vids of all their events with selective clips.  Cordelia mentioned getting one of those Escobaran gowns; Aral made encouraging noises and Alys said ‘No’ before Simon even spoke.

On her time on Sergyar, Alys had reached the uncomfortable conclusion that perhaps she could have made some different choices and that it was perhaps wiser to step back from her son’s life; even if he too had made unwise choices. This way Ivan was more likely to come to her when things went wrong in the future.

She was no longer concerned about this affair with Eve. It would burn itself out; Ivan would see how ill-suited they were.  Gregor had made her promise not to interfere which galled but she had agreed although she refused to go as far as to promote the match. It was a compromise of sorts and although she had seethed throughout her meeting she knew that Gregor was right…about some things. 

She turned as Commodore Jole laughed at something Simon said; they were deep in conversation in low voices. Jole had been there having had some meetings with Aral and had stayed for dinner and drinks.  He was pleasant company and a nice soothing balance to the Vorkosigans’ double act.

They’d all agreed to turn off the commentary on the Escobar Ball highlights since they’d been providing a wittier, more acidic one of their own, so the lull in the conversation caused everyone to hear Alys’s sudden gasp. Ivan in his house colours was approached by a petite girl matching his colours with her blue and gold dress, and a matching circlet holding her mass of hair back.

Aral sat up with a glint in his eye, “Isn’t that –“

“Eve,” Alys said through her teeth. “Yes.”

“With that incredible hair and the dress cut that way, she looks like a mermaid,” Cordelia said.

An _official_ function? What was Ivan thinking? Taking her out around town was one thing but this was different. And Ivan knew that. Dear God, as long as he didn’t…Ivan ran a hand down Eve’s hair as she reached up to stroke her fingertips down his cheek; and they shared a long look before they kissed.

Aral whistled. “And that’s what’s called nailing your colours.”

It was _not_ the kind of kiss you expected in a public event. No doubt it had made an impact as it was replayed a few times with Ivan and Eve’s profile scrolling at the side.

“It won’t last,” Alys said unable to rein in her tongue.

“I hope it does,” Cordelia says, raising her eyebrows at Alys. “Surely you wouldn’t wish further heart break on the poor boy?”

“Of course not,” Alys said. “I sincerely believe she will not make him happy.” And VS society would make it hard for both of them. Ivan would pay a higher price than Eve would.

“And what about him making her happy?” Cordelia asked dryly.

“We could make a bet on it,” Aral said, “we’ve bet on stranger things; haven’t we, Alys?”

Now Alys did bite her tongue. She did wish Aral would forget about that.

“Let’s do our usual one mark bet,” Aral said.

“One dollar,” Cordelia corrected, “if I win. And I say five years at least. Until I meet her I can’t say. They certainly look happy.”

“Ten years at least, I’ve met her briefly,” Aral said and turned to Alys, “she’s not easily daunted.” And he wouldn’t elaborate.

Simon refused to bet.

“Commodore?” Aral asked.

Jole rolled his shoulders looking discomfited. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to say.”

“Oh go on, let’s be inappropriate for once,” Cordelia murmured. Aral seemed to find this very funny.

With all eyes on him, Jole relented, stood and walked over to the vid. He reversed it and paused on the image of Eve and Ivan staring at each other; staring wasn’t the right word – they were basking.

“I think that speaks for itself,” Jole said. “Till death, I’d say. They’re fortunate to have found each other.”

Alys took a breath. “Well, if you’ve all quite finished wagering on my son’s life can we talk about tomorrow’s boat tour?” And she reached across and stopped the vid.

[Epilogue is here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5941771/chapters/13662346)

**Author's Note:**

> Please email me if you notice any errors you think need correcting. Many thanks. My email is on my profile. Comments welcome. I loves comments! Thanks for reading xxx


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